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Q & A: Who makes the decorating decisions around your house?

by | Mar 11, 2009 | Decorating Inspiration, Details

Q & A: Who makes the decorating decisions around your house?

A few of you brought up a potentially tricky decorating dilemma a couple of posts ago and I was asked how I handle it. At risk of opening up a sensitive topic {ducking and cringing}, how many of you married ladies (not to exclude any single or male readers, you can still chime in on the subject!) struggle at all with decorating a home in a style that both you AND your husband feel comfortable in?

Do your husbands ever comment on your decorating style? Do they voice their own opinions on things like paint color, fabrics or accessories? I know a lot of husbands leave the decorating decisions completely to their wife, but many men have opinions none the less. I know mine does!

How do you all deal with making decorating decisions around the house?

In our home, we have always made a lot of the major decorating or remodeling decisions together, and most of the time it works well for us. My husband is really creative and has an eye for detail  I appreciate. He has stretched me to see new things.  I love having him on board with the projects.

My husband basically lets me handle the decorating end of things if I want to, he knows that is my passion. He has confidence in me and wants me to have fun, but still likes to be involved. I’m good with that. I try to involve him as much as possible and if he doesn’t like something, I try to work on it until he is happy with it. I think we get a nice balanced look that way. I enjoy having a home we both feel good about.

Often we agree on what to do from the beginning, but sometimes I have to convince him of my new ideas. And sometimes I just have to rearrange the furniture without him and then he sees how great it looks! He isn’t as good at visualizing the final look so I have to SHOW him what I mean for him to get it.

To be honest, now and then I would love to just take off on my own and do my decorating thing and not even discuss it with him at all!  I told him that one time (in fun) and he said he would be fine with that if I really wanted to. Hmmm….thinking about that one!

Q & A: Who makes the decorating decisions around your house?

I might like a little more “aw, cute” around my house, but cute is not exactly what my husband loves. He loves natural wood (there is no painting wood (even ugly wood) or natural material of any kind, is this a man thing? I think so). He loves jewel tones (oh boy, at least I can get him to bend a little on the color scheme). My latest brainstorm of wanting to paint a wood armoire in a spring color nearly made him hyperventilate. I’m working with him on that idea. I think he’ll love it when it is done.

I can sometimes sneak a little bunny or birdie in, but if I went too crazy with them and hung sweet things all over the house, he’d want to hang some giant deer head over the fireplace to balance out the cute. Thank goodness he doesn’t insist on doing the decorating himself. I would jump out of my skin if there was a real dead animal head on my mantle. A ceramic bunny on the mantle, yes. Deer head, no.

So tell me, do YOUR husbands say anything at all about decorating? Is your home a reflection of both of your tastes? How has your style evolved in the time you have been married? No husband bashing and there is no right or wrong here, just curious how you all come to decorating decisions.

Photo: Absolutely Beautiful Things, Snapper Lodge
Country Home


  1. Emily

    Hubby definitely plays a part in it – he’s the same way about painting anything wood – and he’ll jump in and snag a paintbrush out of my hand and tell me to step away from the furniture I am about to paint. He does roll his eyes at me a lot when I am moving things around and such -but since using what we have it a big part of my decorating and not aquiring new stuff, he’s pretty tolerant. Even for something like our recent kitchen project, he thinks things I like are silly or unnecessary, but then he puts the subway tile up after I nag and he’s like “why didn’t we do this 2 years ago – it’s fabulous!” and says he should listen to me more :)

    I think the only time we’d really disagree on decorating is if I wanted to spend lots of money on it.

    We do have very different tastes. I am very relaxed, cottage-y, casual and he loves dark wood and very traditional lines. I think we do well compromising on that, as in, I have promised him I won’t paint our cherry kitchen table white :)

    [email protected] inspiring blog post..Living Room Makeover

  2. Becky K.

    This has been one of the strengths of our marriage. The remodeling and working together on house projects. He is the wall mover, I am the decorator…but our projects are team projects. We love it that way!

    He also has a very serious thing against painting wood. I wonder if he will be willing to get over that if we can’t find matching cupboards to add to the kitchen and we have to paint to get a cohesive look???

    Becky K.s inspiring blog post..Happy Anniversary to My Husband…and Happy Birthday Mom!

  3. Stacey

    I had to laugh at this! My hubby has really always been sweet and let’s me go. I do try to talk to him about things. Recently he told me there were too many plates on the wall and he thought he might bring his deer head in from the garage. You know that didn’t go anywhere!

    Staceys inspiring blog post..Join the Pillow Parade

  4. living with lindsay

    My DH usually lets me do what I want. He’s just asked that I run the big things past him first. He actually is really handy, so he’s been the one to help me do things like build our headboard, hang draperies, etc. I do have to think about what he would like, but he pretty much gives in to whatever I want…I can’t believe I pulled off a toile headboard!

    living with lindsays inspiring blog post..My Portable Swatch Organizer

  5. Leila


    My husband hates painting over wood too!

    He lets me do anything , but I’m not into a super-girlie look. I actually love “antlers in all of my decorating ” (remember Gaston in Beauty and the Beast??) and have a pair that the boys found in the woods on my mantel.

    But he balks at too many throw pillows, and every once in a while he states a clear preference in a choice I’m mulling. I enjoy that!

  6. Jen

    My hubs leaves it to me. He just really could live in a bland white house and could be happy that way. NOT me. So he has learned that if it makes me happy, the home is much better off. He will help me out when I need him (he’s a great paint roller), but he just pretty much gives me free reign. I did get his input when buying a new couch because of the huge investment. That went very well.
    We were poor when we first married. We needed $100 just to be broke, at times. Needless to say, There was no decorating then. I tried to make things pretty, but it was near impossible. I think that is why I like eclectic so much. It is what I could afford over the years. Gathering things along the way.
    I LOVE that he lets me do what I want.

  7. suzanne

    the Mister definitely has opinions (in the gene pool!) on everything….even decorating. He cannot always “see” or visualize the way things will look though. He gives me pretty free reins, but will tell me right out if he doesn’t like something. He’s ok with my style pretty much, and thankfully doesn’t want to hang animals in the house! As far as painting wood, oh, my goodness, step away from the wood. He is coming around on using paint colors on the wall, but for the longest he has been a beige, vanilla kind of engineer guy!!!

    suzannes inspiring blog post..Finally back to the giveaways!!!

  8. Krys

    We basically have the same tastes – traditional, not modern, I probably lean a bit more toward some floral than he does, but with that exception, we usually like the same things.
    That said, I’m in the process of creating my combination scrapping/guest room. At the beginning of this project, when we were designing the new 2nd floor addition, he said the room was up to me, that I could decorate it any way I wanted, since I’d be the one in there all the time.
    Yea, right.
    I was at the point of choosing a color for the walls, and actually asked for his input in the aisle at Home Depot: “Which do you like better? This pink or this blue?” Now, keep in mind, these are VERY different colors than I’ve ever chosen before, but I wanted a sort of shabby chick, eclectic style to the room and I had seen others I really liked… He flipped out and basically said those colors didn’t suit anything we were putting in the room and we didn’t have furniture yet and how could I pick a real color for the walls without knowing what was going in there…
    So I painted it cottage white, even after he apologized when he realized how ticked off I was – and when I ultimately decide on another color, he’ll have to paint it again!
    We don’t put a lot of money toward decorating – he’s much more frugal than I am and we’re hoping to retire early so much of what’s in our house is second-hand. Plus we inherited a lot from his mom when she passed away and he’s having a hard time letting go of the things…
    Right now we don’t have “our” style nailed down at all, but we know what we like! New furniture is on the horizon, for the new house, when we retire – I’ll update you in a few years!!!

    Kryss inspiring blog post..Awww, poor BO…

  9. teresa

    I use to have that all to myself, decorating that is…but now, not so much, not sure what happened. My husband idea of decorating is buying a sofa in 1970 and keeping it no matter what… until 2009 :} that would be cool is if were vintage and had great lines. :}
    He has a hard time visualizing things- I usually try and keep his comfort in mind and not to make it too me. I just find lately I’ve had to jump through more hoops to help him understand. He’s usually pretty good at getting the point….but man it sure is a lot more work :}
    Great post.

    teresas inspiring blog post..Blessings to Celebrate-

  10. Kim

    I make most of the decisions. However, I do like in-put from my husband!! And, if it is a big decision, especially involving money, we make the decision together. I try to be thrifty with my decorating, so that helps!

    Kims inspiring blog post..Surprise Muffins

  11. Rhoda

    Oh, my hubby is definitely opinionated, from light fixtures to furniture, so I do have to run things by him. He’s nixed a few ideas that I really, really loved, but it’s not worth fighting over, so I concede since I get my way on SO many things. For instance, I wanted to change out 4 kitchen cab. doors to glassfront, cause I just love that look so much & he doesn’t care for the look at all. So, no glass for me. I’m getting new granite, so that will be my reward!

    Rhoda @ Southern Hospitalitys inspiring blog post..The black architectural piece has landed

  12. Christi

    For the most part, it’s all me. My husband, too doesn’t like to see any wood painted. I had a large armoire built several years ago and painted it red – and he talked about how I’d ruined it for several days. {He still doesn’t like it, by the way.}

    He generally just goes with whatever I want to do, and if there’s something he really dislikes, he’ll tell me. As far as paint colors, when building our new house I picked out the interior colors and he picked the outside. I wanted red, but it is brown.

  13. Eileen

    My husband definitely has opinions about decorating. I think if it were up to him our house would be an Ikea modern marvel. Eeek gads. I like exotic fabrics, antiques, warm jewel tones, and wood. I will have to disagree that not wanting to paint wood is only a guy thing. I almost fell off the couch when David Bromstad painted that gorgeous wooden dining table. Just sell the wood table to someone who wants it and buy a painted table! :)

    Eileens inspiring blog post..

  14. Mrs.Rabe

    My husband gets my style, basically classic country. I like to get his input and it has really added to the warm and comfy feeling of our house!
    He hates to paint so I do that, but he does the big work, trim etc…he also has built some awesome pieces of furniture. He built a bookcase in our little guys bedroom that looks like a Pottery Barn piece, only made with real wood and for much less than PB charges!

    Mrs.Rabes inspiring blog post..Their Leaving On A Jet Plane

  15. Kathy

    My husband admits, and often has to remind me, that he lacks the ability to imagine what something will look like while it is in the planning stages. He is also flexible and does not have specific taste or attention to detail. So, most of the time, I do all of the planning and the “doing” part and I LOVE it!

    And, yes, the forbidden paint-over-wood thing is a male phenomenon. Maybe it goes back to the days when men chopped down trees to make their homes and furniture. It’s been handed down to them in their genes, SERIOUSLY! ha ha ~Kathy

    Kathy @ A Little Pinch of This and Thats inspiring blog post..The Nester’s profound question

  16. kirwin

    For the most part, it’s both of us, because our tastes are very similar. This house has a very contemporary-country feel, although we both want a greener, more streamlined, prefab look in our next house (think Dwell.)

    We usually agree, but when we don’t, we choose our battles. For example, when we did our kitchen remodel, I insisted on white cabinets. I really wanted hardwood flooring, but DH said absolutely no wood because of spills. We chose our battles, and were both happy with the result.

    kirwins inspiring blog post..The soundtrack of my life

  17. Victoria

    Great post! My husband does like to have his input considered when decorating and purchasing furniture and items for our home. We have similar tastes and he has a great eye for some things. I’ve tried to explain to him thought that my tastes “evolve” over the years and he doesn’t always get that. He wants to “do” house once and be done with it. Ha! Now he doesn’t balk at spending a good chunk of change on furniture and casegoods that we will have for a long time. But when we were first married he was more vocal about what he wanted and even though I spoke up about what I wanted, I didn’t fight for what I wanted. Case in point: our dining room furniture. I wanted something a little more original and rustic, but he loved the French provincial set from Haverty’s. And now he says that I should have been more adamant that we get what I wanted. When I want to repaint five years after he painted my dining room red, he balks. He’s an amazing carpenter and painter and immediately built a tricked out workshop in our garage, along with tons of storage cabinets there and in the attic when we first moved into this house. But he’s a perfectionist and admittedly very slow at finishing a job because of his perfectionism. Recently I mentioned that I want to paint a hall bench black and he was fine with that. But when I mentioned wanting to paint the entertainment unit white, he put up a fight for the “beautiful dark wood.” But that entertainment center with all his electronics is his baby. So there the big dark humongous thing sits in the forefront of our family room. You win some. You lose some. I try to share magazines and websites with him to help his styles “evolve” as well. So now he’s as into slipcovered furniture as I am. Still working on the dining room and entertainment center.

  18. Kim

    My husband and I get along perfectly in this regard. He lets me do whatever I want and helps me move it, hang it or paint it. He even put up with my looking for the perfect coffee table and it only took about 15 trys to find the right one….lol….I think.

  19. Deidra

    My husband participates and I’m glad about it. I can get so stuck on choosing just the right color to paint that darn wall. I’ll leave paint chips taped up until the tape turns yellow, trying to decide on just the right one. But my husband isn’t having it. He says it’s like buying a pair of jeans. You need new jeans, you just go get ’em. You need new paint on the walls, you just paint ’em. If only I could take that approach…with paint and jeans!

    Deidras inspiring blog post..Lent::Gratitude

  20. Kate

    Timely post! Just had a go round about this last night. We have struggled with this for years. My husband always loves the finished product but he hems, haws and doubts me the whole way through!

    I do all the brainstorming and bargain shopping and general work of it. He has veto power on any ideas that he flat out detests. I wish that he would stay completely out of it, or jump into the process with both feet. The armchair critic thing isn’t working so well. When I have put a lot of work into an idea, and then he starts questioning it because he can’t see it in his head, that is hard for me… I feel deflated, and then do it anyway, and it is fantastic! I guess it all works out in the end but I think the process needs some tweaking.

    (If you click below, you can see the last of the horrible wallpaper in our old house. Our dislike of this wallpaper is something my husband and I definitely agree on!)

    Kates inspiring blog post..Reading Nook AND Art Studio

  21. Jen

    I come up with an idea. We tweak it to fit what we both like (which is more or less the same stuff) and then he makes it a reality (building, painting, etc).

    Jens inspiring blog post..Winter doldrums? Break out the shaving foam!

  22. Darlene

    My darling does not trust his artistic taste (not that he does not have any), and has no desire to decorate things. He leaves it to me, and trusts me,……… except for the cost part :)
    He loves what I choose, however, and is always proud of the improvements we do.

    I would say that his input is this: He has lines he will not cross. Other than that, he does not speak up. And right now, I can only think of two:
    Not too much pink.
    Not too much flowers.

    Not too bad!
    The end.

    [email protected] inspiring blog post..Urgent: Please join me in prayer

  23. Jessica

    I’m single and live alone, but this is still something of a challenge for me because I don’t want to scare off any guys with an overly cutesy house, but by the same token, it’s mine, all mine! and I want to enjoy that. So far, I have plans for a really, really girly guest room because I figure if a friend’s staying here for free, they don’t get to complain, and my living room is a lot more modern with really funny old family photos on the walls so that it’s not too cold. So, it’s fun to read about how someone handles a different-but-somehow-similar dilemma!

    Jessicas inspiring blog post..Why it’s Never the Easy Metaphor

  24. v and co

    we actually just had this discussion the other day. i really want to paint a little table that my husband re-finished (in natural wood) and he said it’s a sin to do that! as for the decorating it’s all me cause he knows i love it, except he places the big furniture cause he’s better at it than i am. what is it with men and natural wood?!!

    v and cos inspiring blog the works

  25. Gina

    I just love the bed with the checkered headboard. Actually I love the whole room. My husband does more eye-rolling than anything. He never knows what I will do next. First he has to put his two cents in…I guess to try and talk me out of it…but he knows that’s useless by now. He also doesn’t like any natural wood painted, but that’s usually a lost cause. He’s wonderful about helping me once I put my mind to it. So I guess you would say he leaves the decorating up to me, while he’s my assistant!!

  26. Vee

    My beloved has always been very encouraging and often speaks highly of the way things look. However, of late, I have heard a few more mumblings. Hmmmmm… The first was that there was “too much.” So I took it to heart and pared it down. He didn’t like it. Wondered where this and that had gone. Truthfully, I don’t think that I’m going to include him on many of my decorating decisions. I’m going to decide what happens and sail forth allowing him to think that he had something to do with it. LOL!

    Vees inspiring blog post..And So It Goes

  27. Barbara

    I think hubby and I are complete opposites when it comes to decorating which makes things rather difficult. Especially when I will usually cave in to him, because I want him to be happy. I’m kind of tired of doing that though, that’s what’s gotten us to where we are today which is a bunch of matchy matchy rooms with no sense of personal style. Thankfully we’ve had everything for a while now and most of it is at a point where it needs replacing. It’s my turn now :)

    He also has an aversion to painted wood… must be a guy thing.

    Barbaras inspiring blog post..A Short Love Story – Stop Motion

  28. Whitney

    This is a great topic. When we were engaged, my husband said I would be in complete control of the house and I believed him. Ha! No, really, it’s not bad or anything, but he can’t help it. He’ll let me decide but it he hates it, he’ll let me know. Cost is important as well as answering for practicality.

  29. Kimberly

    I was so concerned with not being what I saw as the cultural norm of the pushy, bossy wife that I made it clear to my husband when we got married 4 years ago that I wanted us to work together on home decor. Things went along pretty uneventfully; we purchased a couple small pieces of furniture but no great strides were made. Then in Feb 2008 I found a pair of impossibly girly pink candlesticks for sale in Charlotte, NC. I was granted free artistic reign in our guest bedroom which I have made a pink paradise in which to display my candlesticks. That project got me interested in home decor in general, and I actually now have a vision for what I would like our home to look like. I still check with hubs to make sure he’s ok with all the mercury glass and apothecary jars and he weighs in at times, but mostly he lets me go to it because he said if I’m happy with it he’s probably going to be happy with it…lucky me! :)

    Kimberlys inspiring blog post.."My Deodorant Failed Me" or "Danger: Too Much Information Ahead"

  30. Bekah

    My hubby says he doesn’t care….and most of the time he lets me do my thing. But, if I am going to ask his opinion on something, he definately can get picky and sometimes it’s so much that I go back to not asking his opinion so that I don’t have to keep arguing for my side! HA!
    It turns out for the better however- Everything that I’ve picked on my own, but keeping him in mind, has been exactly perfect for both of us…YAY!

  31. songbirdtiff

    On any major renovations James and I would certainly have equal opinions. When it comes to just decorating, I’m mostly on my own. It would probably be a point of contention if I were a very girly decorator, but I’m not. He seems to like most of my color choices and has learned not to make judgments on works-in-progress. :) From experience he knows that he will likely like the end result. If not, I’ll try something else. There are a few things that I wouldn’t consider trying to talk him out of, like having the flag James was given when his father passed away. It is in the living room and that is where it will always stay.

    songbirdtiffs inspiring blog post..Another Idea (Chris Isaak)

  32. DesignTies

    I make the decorating decisions, and then my hubby promptly pooh-poohs them!! Depending on what it is, I may or may not listen to his opinion ;-)

    When it comes to large items, like furniture, I like him to be onboard with me. For smaller things, I’ll do it whether he likes it or not :-D

    Sometimes we compromise — he hated the mirrored chests AND the zebra rug that I bought for the living room. I decided I could live without the rug, but I HAD to keep the chests :-)

    Occasionally we actually agree on something — like the sectional we bought for our loft.

    My hubby is not helpful AT ALL when it comes to choosing paint colours. Why can he not understand that yes, there are hundreds of different shades of white, and yes, there IS a difference between each of them, and yes, there’s a need for each and every one of them!! :-)

    Kelly @ DesignTies

    DesignTiess inspiring blog post..Sexy furniture from qerat… Ooooh-la-la!!!

  33. Rachel

    Thankfully, my husband and I enjoy the same color style and scheme. Every so often though, we’ll come to a crossroads… and discussion is definitely in order. :) We are just barely newlyweds though, living in a little apartment, so there isn’t much room to move around when it comes to decorating and what not. We both love the modern, simplicity… but my tastes vary from month to month. He’s too good to me…. and my ever-changing mind. :)

    Rachels inspiring blog post..Achieving the Seemingly Impossible

  34. Kelly

    Oh Melissa, this post was written for me, LOL! At the old house I appeased my Hubs and didn’t go all nutsy with what I wanted the place to look like. We knew that we’d be moving, the house was cheap, $ for renovs would never make a dent in raising the price, etc. He even had his Philadelphia Eagles football room in the attic bedroom (fine by me…but not when some memorabilia trickled down – fumbled down? – to the family room, LOL). When we bought our new construction townhome that we’ve been in for about 3 months, he promised that everything design-related could be my choice. There were a few moments that he wasn’t super into what I was picking out – our end tables for instance (have to post them on my blog, though, b/c they’re super lovely and a great deal at Target). Some curtains and other things he’s had a bit of a “hmmmm…” face about, but he’s stuck true to letting me run the show. We do share a similar vision, though his includes no toile and Shabby Chic anything. ;o) Too bad! He’s had to grow a bit in those areas. I honor color palettes that he likes the most and am guilty of being talked out of certain ideas by the weird (and usually humorous) conotations that they conjure up for him (he has a knack for naming colors in a really, well, “colorful” way, LOL).

    Great post, mama!

    Kellys inspiring blog post..Cha-cha-cha-chaaaaaanges…

  35. Jo - To a Pretty Life

    I got married at age 19, and didn’t have much idea what I liked for decorating. So for our wedding registry and decorating, things definitely had a modern, masculine look. I was also too timid to really speak up if I wanted something that wasn’t exactly his taste. Now, 6.5 years later, I have gone in almost the opposite direction! KD basically stays out of the decorating. He does have opinions, and I like to talk so I am always telling him my plans and ideas. That gives him the opportunity to say so if he disagrees with anything. Which he does every now and then. For example, he does not like my idea of painting the front door red! The one decorating decision that we need to make that he is not allowed to have much say in is picking the living room rug. He picked the last one, and we both agree now that it is ugly! Gee, I hope that all makes sense. I tend to ramble sometimes ;-)

  36. Brooke

    My DH is pretty good about agreeing with me. Whether he really agrees, or it just doesn’t matter to him, I’m not sure. But he’s always very appreciative and complimentary of anything new I do, so I assume he likes it. He didn’t even pick our furniture, I did. And he could care less if I painted everything. I can always sand it clean and start over!

  37. Jackie Whitley

    We need to update a bath & kitchen & painting the cabinets will be the least expensive. We BOTH have a problem with painting wood.

  38. Brenda Kula

    We handle our “main” rooms this way: I have my garden room/living area. And he has his living room. Which we decorate in our own fashion. Otherwise I decorate most everything. He picked stuff out for what we call “his” bathroom, which is actually “ours.” I picked out stuff for the guest bath when remodeling.

    Brenda Kulas inspiring blog post..Cozy Up To Rain

  39. Carolyn

    When we were first married, I wasn’t sure of my taste, and therefore most of what we bought in the first ten years or so reflected his taste. His preferences ran to dark, distressed Early American, which was what he grew up with. By the time I knew what I liked, and it wasn’t that, we had five kids to feed, house, and educate, so we are just now gradually buying things that I really love! But that Ethan Allen Dark Antiqued Pine stuff lasts forever, so it’s still around. DH also has strong opinions about furniture arrangement. His chair must be on a direct line with the TV, so it’s been difficult to arrange the living room furniture.

  40. Erin

    Ahh it’s so good to hear that I AM NOT ALONE!!

    For the most part, my husband lets me do my own aesthetic things. But when it comes to furniture or color or hanging pictures, he cannot visualize at all. And the worst part is that he thinks he can so he beats his points to death. Then he accuses me of telling him he’s always wrong when I try to enlighten him and cause him to think about things differently.

    Right now, I have decided not to ask for his opinion in decorating because I almost always get shot down. And so far I’ve forged ahead on my own and -surprise!- he has liked what I’ve done (unless he’s being kind and not saying anything :) )

    But I have devised a plan for when there will be pieces of furniture or wall hangings involved. From now on I will be drawing pictures of exactly what the wall or room that I want to redo will look like. That way he doesn’t have to rely on himself to figure out what it will be, I’ll have already done it for him. Then I’ll whip out my measuring tape and assure him that, “No, this piece is definitely not too big to go here and this is exactly what I’ve been looking for! And wasn’t the whole idea to cover up this big empty space anyway?”

    He also hates clutter or stuff out on counters and tables, but he hates the idea of buying more furniture for organized storage. Where does he think this stuff should go? Honestly, I just don’t get it. I think if he had his way, all our stuff would be in big plastic bags in the garage and all the rooms would be bare except for the few essential items. Like when I first moved in… hmm, hauntings from bachelorhood, I imagine? :)

    It’s so reassuring to hear that this is normal. And I love him to death despite the annoyances and we’ve only been married a year, so there is still hope… haha!

    Erins inspiring blog post..Somebody stop that door!

  41. Sara

    I’ve been married for 9 years and I’ve been a stay at home mom for 1.5 years. All the years we’ve been married my husband has had a big opinion on what goes in decorating the house….but as each year goes by, he hands the reigns over to me more and more. Finally since I’ve stayed home (and 2 years ago he started his own business and has his own office space) I’ve been able to convince him that I needed to be feel comfortable with my surroundings since I stay home more than he does. He agrees with that.

    He seems pretty happy with decisions I make (I still talk to him about it first just for a sounding board) as long as I can keep within our family budget. I’m happy to do that too, of course.
    Thankfully over the years, both of our tastes have matured and developed!

    Saras inspiring blog post..Housework

  42. Ruth

    I do most of the decorating with the knowledge that my husband will probably have a problem with it if it is too feminine. We have three boys. He likes to remind me that our house has to house the boys. I pick all the colors because he is color blind. Now that we have a girl, I am have been happily given carte blanche in her room as far as style goes. I have to run financial things by him.

    Ruths inspiring blog post..Better

  43. jessimarie33

    Loved reading this! ha. I am so lucky. My fiance is so understanding and supportive of what I choose for our new home. (except, again, the painting wood issue!) I have a vintage, eclectic style and he has totally decided to jump on board. He even supports my antique-ing, thrifting, and auctioning. ha. See just how understanding he is here:

    jessimarie33s inspiring blog post..New Chair Love

  44. Pat

    Hi Melissa
    Ours is a collaborative effort.
    I generally get the “bright ideas” and draw J into the plan. We work together and know each other so well. That’s on large projects like paint and major furniture purchases etc. I usually do whatever pops in my head on the small projects, though.

    Pats inspiring blog post..~An Early Spring Porch~

  45. anne

    It really must be a “MAN” thing…he cannot bear the thought of painting bare wood, or wood for that matter…no matter how old it is…but I am given a free rein…personally I would like more of an imput from him, after all it is his home too!!

    In the 90’s I loved lots of oranges and yellows on the walls but going towards a more neutral home, but not cream or beigey colours, more whites, with a hint…and more pictures on the walls, and certainly have decluttered ornaments etc…great post!

    annes inspiring blog post..Our Short Walk…..

  46. rue

    Hi Melissa :)

    It’s definitely a man thing, but I finally convinced him that it’s okay to paint ugly cheap wood. He stands firm on the fact that cherry wood cabinets should never be painted though and thinks that they will always be a classic look for kitchens. Wasn’t it that way for oak a few years back? LOL On the other hand if someone paints an antique on HGTV or in Blogland BOTH of us throw up a little.

    Anyway, I make almost all the decorating decisions, but once in a while I have to work my magic to get him to see it my way. For the most part we share the same taste, but he draws the line at a pink bedroom ;)


    rues inspiring blog post..A few good things

  47. Chelle

    AHHH! That wood thing MUST be a man thing! I believe oak furniture should, at best, be burned. Second to that it needs a GOOD coat of paint… but not my hubbers… he thinks if it’s wood it shouldn’t be painted. URGG. that kills me!
    He’s also a designer (landscape architect) so he has many many many opinions on how to decorate, BUT our agreement is, unless he REALLY hates it, the house is my decorating domaine… he has all kinds of work projects he can design his heart away on.
    He does have a lot of good input on our house though… most of the time he’s right about whatever decorating “issue” we’re caught on.
    And he’s incredibly handsome too… I really got the whole package :)

    Chelles inspiring blog post..I can’t even catch my breath…

  48. Heathahlee

    I am blessed to have a husband who pretty much lets me do what I want…even if I have to convince him it’s the right thing to do. He does give me his input, which I appreciate greatly. He also respects my wishes not to put any dead animals in the “public” areas of the house. Kiddo shot a 7-point this past fall and it will eventually find its way into his bedroom, but NOT in my living room. That was decided a long time ago even before we had a child.

    And as far as not painting wood goes, yes, I do believe it’s a man thing, because my man says the same exact thing. EXACT. I showed him a beautifully painted headboard on a blog one time and he said, “Perfectly good way to ruin some beautiful wood. I’d never have that in my house.” Well, he would if I did it and didn’t tell him about it until he saw how beautiful and wonderful and beautiful it was. : )

    Heathahlees inspiring blog post..Pillow Parade!

  49. Deb

    Bwaaahhhh!!! I have to tell you a little story. A few months back, I was thinking to myself about how well hubby and I had been getting along. We hadn’t even had a minor tiff in months. I was feeling good about the weather, the house, and I decided to move a few things around. World War 3 erupted in our house! Evidently, unbeknownst in its full scope to me, my husband is very averse to change in decor. Lol. He about lost a gasket and we had a huge argument. Needless to say, I’ll make sure I consult him the next time I try to move furniture or wall fixtures. Or even wash curtains. lol.

    Debs inspiring blog post..The Archimedes Principle

  50. Pinky

    Melissa, it sounded like I wrote your blog….your story is almost exactly like ours. My DH does like to get involved, but he knows that this too is MY passion but like your hubby he does have a good eye too so most decisions are done together. HOWEVER….I wish to God I had NEVER let him have a say in our rec room furniture….I have HATED it since the day it arrived. Unfortunately the budget won’t allow new, so I have to live with it. AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! It is pretty hideous, but I just totally avoid that room if I can:):). I do wish I could afford to totally redo our kitchen, it is OK, but very outdated now. Maybe some day???? This is a great post. Hugs, Pinky

  51. Tom White

    I have been a professional decorator for about 15 years. With my customers it is nearly always the women who make the decorating decision. Most men it would seem are more laid back with the decor choices.

  52. Susan

    My darling hubby is a custom cabinet and furniture maker…can we say NO to painted wood? No matter how crummy it looks…but he is very sensitive to new trends, etc and finally catches up with me…yeah, painted kitchens are making a comeback. (DUH!) But I’m not allowed to paint ours (we rent). Periodically I threaten to paint the hutch (I hate the color) just to yank his chain.

    He allows me to do anything pretty much, but he has a few conditions (stop adding black to everything) There are 3 photo frames that I painted black and now he fears that I am doing everything in black..oh yeah, and the little bookcase. Geez.

    But as I redo our bedroom, I ask for his input on things and I can foofy all I want…

  53. Myrnie

    I tell everyone that my husband decorates the house. He has a great eye for how things will look, what colors go together, and how people will move through rooms. Every once in a while I’ll add something temporary, like a handmade decoration, or a little arrangement of my grandmother’s music boxes, but it’s mostly him. Funny thing is, I’ll spend a month thinking about where to put something, and it will work. He’ll blast out hours of work in one weekend, and it works…so between the two of us, we’re turning our house into a home. He’s very supportive, though- if I try something, he’ll notice and comment, but never criticize. If it doesn’t work, we both figure that out pretty quickly. Thanks for the great post!

    Myrnies inspiring blog post..2009 Garden Rundown

  54. Hannah E.

    My husband loves to garden and do all of the yard work, so he has a special interest in anything that has to do with the exterior or landscaping or any outside decorating. So early on in our marriage, we came to the agreement that he would have the final say on all of the outdoor decorating while I would be the one ultimately responsible for the decorating decisions inside the home. This arrangement works great for us! He’s pretty happy with whatever I choose. He probably wouldn’t be ok with me decorating with a lot of pink or anything shabby chic (apart from our baby girl’s nursery), but that’s not my style anyway. And I don’t always LOVE everything he picks for the outside, but I’d prefer his choices to me actually working in the yard! We make sure to consult each other on the big things and compromise at times, with sensitivity towards each other’s preferences, not doing something we know the other one hates. Of course, like most men, he has more of an interest in the things we spend more money on.

    Hannah E.s inspiring blog post..Serving Like Jesus

  55. Heidi

    Oh yes! My husband definitely has an opinion and it’s usually a good one! However he is more about convenience {meaning he leaves things out} but his eye for color is great and I love the way he appreciates quality!

    [email protected] inspiring blog post..For the Love of Words

  56. Emily

    oh and I keep coming back to that first photo. why is it that when my house is cluttery like that, it doesn’t look nearly so pretty? :)

    [email protected] inspiring blog post..Living Room Makeover

  57. black eyed susans kitchen

    I have to say that this post made me laugh. There is always a little tug of war going on when I decorate. In my own mind, I know that my husband will not be comfortable in a frilly, girly room, so I try to balance. The screened porch is where I can get away with a white wicker shabby pastel look. The rest of the house goes from traditional to beach cottage chic. It weighs on my mind so much, that I once had a dream about my husband wanting to decorate. In my dream, we turned the garage, a big 2 car size with very high ceiling and back side of brick fireplace, into a family room. He filled it with a pool table and all black leather furniture. Since I had given him carte blanche, there was nothing that I could do. I woke up feeling very frustrated and a little cranky that day. That is why I thought this question was so funny. As a rule, my husband is happy with how I decorate the house, and his only “joke” about it is that, one day he will come in and break his neck because I am always rearranging things.

    black eyed susans kitchens inspiring blog post..WALKING AND READING AND WINNING AND LOSING

  58. Beth Bridges

    Natural wood and Men go together. My hubby built a SOLID oak entertainement center in wood shop in the 10th grade 21 years ago. Oh my goodness!! Anyway, it become “ours” when we were married in ’96. I have asked him on several occasions if he would think about repurposing the wood into something that would fit our family. I’ve been met with silence, but not a definite No. Maybe if I suggest painting it……black, barn red, YELLOW with golden undertones. Seriously, he would say. Oh well. For the most part I can do what I want. When it comes to things like paint on the wall I do ask his opinion. He usually has sound advice, and most of the time I like his choices better than my initial pick.

    Beth Bridgess inspiring blog post..PAINT IS DRY

  59. Polly

    Steve lets me do most anything with the decorating. I loved the retro pink kitchen appliances we picked up over the years! We even put all our new appliances in storage so we could live with the cool old stuff. But when the old pink ‘fridge handle broke, he drew the line. He refused to use a screwdriver to open the refridgerator when we had a perfectly new ‘fridge in the basement. geessh…. ;)

    Blessings… Polly

    Pollys inspiring blog post..Spring Chick

  60. Amy

    This is one area where my husband and I get along great! He has NO eye for design, so he really doesn’t notice when I do something different. It’s kinda funny. I will move things around sometimes to see if he even notices. He has great taste in art and enjoys our paintings. The only thing he insisted on having when we first got married was a grandfather clock. Hey, it’s wonderful and way better than an ugly recyliner:-)

    Amy @ Living Locurtos inspiring blog post..Book Party

  61. Penny

    Compromise is definately the standard in our house. I love French Country with a Swedish twist. I love the French country greys and whites…The Swedish whites and a touch of red or green…My husband who is Swedish by the way, loves Provence colors of reds, blues, greens, yellows…same with the Swedish colors…He loves bright and vibrant. I love pales and softer. We are working it out…

  62. Mary Jean

    I am cracking up at this post!!! My husband and I used to agree on EVERYTHING! We had fun decorating together. Love him dearly and he is the best picture hanger ever…but, he is still stuck in the hunter green, cranberry, navy phase and just can’t part with some stuff. It is now residing in our guest room!!! I should post a pic of this place!

    I’m trying not to hurt his feeling with my “new style”, but I think he has just given up and letting me do it all.

    Mary Jeans inspiring blog post..The Only Room I Have Not Painted

  63. Melissa

    I love all of your comments! You all are cracking me up with your stories.

  64. Esther

    My husband doesn’t really care just as long as the house is tidy and somewhere that he feels like he can relax in. He doesn’t really like change or interuption which can be a bit tricky when I’m wanting to redo the house and he justs wants to spend his weekends winding down. I’ve been choosing the paint colours, I’m sure if I asked him to choose between two shades of blue he’d just roll his eyes, so I’m lucky that I get a bit of a free rein but I am concious that he’s the only male in our house so have steered away from making the bedroom too girly (in my opinion anyway- he probably says it’s girly with too many cushions).

    Most of the wood furniture that I’ve painted have been mine that he’s made me for presents so technically I can do what I want with it. He drew the line at a coffee table he brought home from work though, saying I wasn’t allowed to cover up the lovely wood. He doesn’t understand when I try to point out that it’s a yellow pine that’s just going to get yellower every year.

    Esthers inspiring blog post..A bathroom re-do

  65. Bugs & Sunshine

    This post made me smile and remenisce (sp?!) on my DH’s blue recliners with cup holders that got the boot when we got married. And the oak furniture that also got the boot and/or a slap of white paint. So, in answer to your question he gladly gives me free reign…although I will say, we recently painted and I narrowed us to 2 choices and he picked…it was cute. And there is a slight possiblity I just put pink toile in my living room. I hope I don’t get my decorating rights revoked!

    Bugs & Sunshines inspiring blog post..Move that bus!

  66. Pretty Organizer

    Husband offers opinions on matters of “function” and organization rather than decorating. We still have moments of disagreement in that arena.

    I never really heard about what he thought of our house until a few years ago. He came home from a work trip where he stayed with a bachelor friend in LA and worked out of an L.A. office. The apartment was sparse, not particularly clean, and lacking. He came home and said, “I need to tell you how much I appreciate delicate touch of a womans decorating. I never really thought about it before but when I had to live in those conditions for an extended period of time I came to miss the thoughtful touches you bring to our home that really makes it warm and comfortable for me.” Ahh…. Swoon… he won me over. He realized at that moment that it was “right” that I decorated the house. However, truth be known, I need to respect that he’s manly and that’s why I love him. Our room will never be shabby pink or drip with roses!

    Great thought provoking post dear friend!

    Pretty Organizers inspiring blog post..Saturday Jobs Made Simple

  67. Marianne

    Oh this is a good one. My Love is definitely involved and has a strong decorating opinion of his own. Problem is his style and mine are totally different. I would say I am shabby chic, he is into modern design. So it is a constant battle between lace and leather, or chrome and fabric in our house. But we make it work. I cut down on the foofing and fluffing and he tolerates pillows and plates. But I often dream about how our house would look like (or in what house I would live for that matter) if I had free reign. But My Love is a cutie anyway and I’d rather snuggle with him on our chrome and leather couch (ouch not my taste), than sit on a fluffy toile couch by myself. And mixing the styles in a pleasing way has become my major challenge and I kind of like it that way. But I am still very jealous at the freedom so many of you ladies have.

    Mariannes inspiring blog post..May I introduce to you: my dressform

  68. Cherri Engle

    For the most part my husband and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to decorating ideas. However, some of the more off the wall ideas that I throw out to him, he is quick to say…that is ugly! He can be real quick to let me know when he doesn’t like something. He lets me do my thing with ‘little’ bits of input on certain things. He is proud of our house and the decorating that I (‘we’) have done. Of course, my ‘honey-do list’ is ever growing with all the great decorating inspiration that I recieve from my ‘blog-hopping’.

    Cherri Engles inspiring blog post..Some Recent Layouts

  69. Susan

    Stacy, I’m thinking that you can let your DH bring in the dear head. Surround it with plates and hang lace curtain from his antlers.

  70. Susan

    Oh man, I misspelled ‘dear’, DEER head.

  71. Debbykay

    This is amazing! I thought my sweetie was the only one in the world who is shocked, horrified, speechless that anyone would want to paint “that beautiful {stained or natural wood or trim or…whatever!}” instead of basking in the beauty and lines of the wood. I, on the other hand, tell him I like to bask in the beauty of HIS craftsmanship in creating the cupboard, table, etc. and can see that better when it is painted! Sometimes, it works!

    All that said, my sweetie is THE best. I give a little 2 x 2 yellow posted with an idea or a design for a cupboard. Then, he tries to figure out how to make it work. He is amazing!

    Our compromise is not too many florals in the house, I can have all I want in the gardens or in the bouquets he brings home every week–even after 30 years of marriage!

    Great post!
    Rose Cottage Gardens and Farm

    Debbykays inspiring blog post..Inspired by Red

  72. Amanda

    umm yep right there with ya. what is up with the love of jewel tones- my hubby whole apartment was decorated that way when we met- 12 years ago & he STILL leans towards those colors- can you say hello 90’s! & yep on the natural wood thing too. But he does let me have my way around here- he says Honey I will love whatever you do!

    Amandas inspiring blog post..Spring-a-ling

  73. Laura Ingalls Gunn

    Suprisingly, my husband likes to be involved in designing/decorating.
    Generally, I do all of the legwork to narrow things down to 3 choices which I present to him. He then selects his favorite of the 3.
    Occasionally he’ll try to bring home something and when I raise my eyebrows and try to explain why it doesn’t work he’ll try and argue. I then have to pull out the trump card. No, not childbirth, the wee small fact that I have a degree in design. :)

    Laura Ingalls Gunns inspiring blog post..All Things Irish~ China

  74. Laura Ingalls Gunn

    Suprisingly, my husband likes to be involved in designing/decorating.
    Generally, I do all of the legwork to narrow things down to 3 choices which I present to him. He then selects his favorite of the 3.
    Occasionally he’ll try to bring home something and when I raise my eyebrows and try to explain why it doesn’t work he’ll try and argue. I then have to pull out the trump card. No, not childbirth, the wee small fact that I have a degree in design. :)

  75. Joy

    My husband, while he has decorating opinions, does not care nearly as much as I do how things look. That being that case I do what I want. However, I have noticed over the years that my taste has become a lot more like his. I would never do anything to our home that he hates; I want it to reflect both of us.

    Joys inspiring blog post..Yellow Belly Button Bear

  76. Elizabeth Barrette

    My partner isn’t strongly interested in most matters dealing with colors and decoration. For the most part, we divvy up responsibilities based on who has the better skill, so a majority of decorative decisions fall to me. But we also try to find things that both of us are happy with. We manage to discuss the topic successfully more often than not.

    Elizabeth Barrettes inspiring blog post..What Are Green Buildings?

  77. Amber

    I have never understood how men can be SO visual when it comes to naked women, but not decorating.
    My father used to love wall paper, bless his heart, it was sort of psycho from room to room.
    I have a belief that whom ever feels strongly about something, along with knowledge, should have more say in the decision. Perhaps I just don’t know any straight men with good style in interiors.
    Good design is important, a home everyone is comfortable in is more important. I would never put lace and ruffles if I had a man in the home. Nor would I feel he should put deer head and chrome if he wants me there. Dead animals do not make me feel sexy just like ruffles do not make him feel manly. So my point is, most times women are far better at design, but consider your husband.

    Ambers inspiring blog post..Lemon Sour Cream Glazed Iced Pound Cake

  78. Julie Size

    Right now – everything revolves around trying to keep my DH comfortable more than style but he has never been picky and has always been happy with what I have picked out.

    Julie Sizes inspiring blog post..White Blood Cells – Chapter 15

  79. Kara

    Well, I’m not married YET ;)

    But, Caleb and I have actually talked a lot about this and how we want to make our home a reflection of both of us. Luckily his house also has space for each of us to have our own “office” aka “craft room/video game room”

    I think we’ll keep things neutral and go more masculine with textiles and feminine with accessories.

    Karas inspiring blog post..Fun Foodie Centerpiece Idea, and a Wild Turkey

  80. Jen

    I think this is a great question! My husband has learned over the years that I can come up with some (what seem like) crazy ideas at first, but if he just gives me time they usually turn into great designs… I guess I’ve trained him well.

    As a redesigner, I go into a lot of people’s homes and invariably I have to chuckle at the comments the husbands make. They don’t initially say they care, but I would say about 75% of the time, they have an opinion about how things look and they’ll tell you if you get it wrong!

    My husband has been gone for about 2 weeks and since then I’ve redesigned our bedroom (these sort of things happen a lot when he’s on trips), so I hope he likes it!

    Jens inspiring blog post..Hidden Potential– Solano County Home Staging

  81. Erin

    My husband has done so much to boost my confidence. He definitely has opinions about what he likes, but more than anything, he tells me that whatever I do with our home is what he likes. He just told me the other day that if for some horrible reason he was on his own and I wasn’t around anymore, he thinks his place would be much cooler than if I had never influenced his taste.

    When I was single I liked more Victoria Magazine kind of stuff, but I’ve moved on from that and like floral & fru fru less and less, much to the benefit of my husband. I try to keep him and his masculinity in mind with every decorating decision I make, and he’s always happy!

    Erins inspiring blog post..Sharpie Art & A Quiet Rainy Saturday

  82. Sue

    Melissa, I find it so fascinating to read what other women’s significant others have to say about their decorating ideas. It seems as if the majority of your readers seem to have a lot of authority and decision making power when it comes to decorating style.

    I am going to give you a retailer’s position on the whole selection process. My husband and I are both in the retail furniture business & I do the decorating. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve waited on women who come in to select home furnishings and accessories but don’t actually buy because, ” I have to ask my husband first.”

    I guess it’s because I have always had carte blanche when it came to any purchase selection, not just decorating, that I still have a hard time understanding the customer who can’t do anything without her spouse’s permission. Not that I don’t think the Mr. shouldn’t have any input, mind you; it’s just that so often the Mr. pooh poohs many of the ideas and selections that the Mrs. makes. A sales person can spend a lot of time first with the wife, then with husband and wife together. It’s great when the couple comes to a consensus and we make the sale. But I can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen couples fight and argue with one another, only to walk out the door. And can you imagine what it can be like to be in their home when they start to argue? oooohhh … It’s times like these that we just look at each other, throw up our hands, and laugh! What else can we do?

  83. Bejeweled

    Another fabulous topic! It’s always intriguing watching how a space changes to reflect who lives there and the dynamics between them.

    Bejeweleds inspiring blog post..Vintagey Lucite Flower Goodness

  84. Sheryl

    The reason why I never got the courage to fix up any of our homes…until recently…is because I asked my husband’s opinion and was so worried what he’d think. Meanwhile, nothing got done around the house. Once I started blogging and met all you wonderful bloggers, I got the courage to step over some boundaries. SOME. I am still very careful. But so far he hasn’t objected and I am so much happier in my home! I know where to draw the line – don’t make anything too feminine. Don’t hang plates in the master bedroom. (He hates plates on any wall, but so far he hasn’t commented on the plates in the dining room.) He knows that I am much more connected to this house than he is. In other words, its appearance affects me more than him. So he’s been really good about not saying much. I’m realizing I can probably get away with much more!

  85. Liz

    Well… it’s pretty much me, but I do have to run colour choices past him. Recently I chose a shade of blue for the dining room, but he vetoed it for a lighter shade, which I don’t mind as he agrees with pretty much everything else I do :)

    [email protected] inspiring blog post..Violets

  86. Kathy

    I used to ask Earl’s opinion about every project I did. And I always worked his suggestions into the project because I want thim to be happy in our home too! But, it just didnt work out. he loves brown and I love bright color. He loves plain walls and I like something to look at! I eventually realized that I am the one who spends the most time at home and really the only one who cares a lot what things look like. And while he doesn’t always get my concept at first he always loves the finished product when I decorate so he is happy.

    Kathys inspiring blog post..

  87. Debbykay

    One thing that is important for us is to talk about everything — sharing in the process is just as important as the end product. Actually, our college student son is more opinionated about the decorating at our home!! He is so funny about our choices, and usually has better ideas than either one of ours!


    Debbykays inspiring blog post..Time in a Bottle

  88. amanda

    My husband definitely gives me free reign over the house, but just like your husband, he does have an opinion and he’s definitely the jewel-tone, don’t-paint-it-stain-it kind of guy you described.

    So much of our house is still in transition from baby/toddler-kid-time and college just-starting-out-time that it’s hard to get started. We recently purchased a new dining room table, chairs, and hutch that we fell in love with. It’s dark wood and old world feeling, but since moving it home, I’m feeling like the chairs (these huge black leather, antiqued brass nail head covered chairs!) are a bit too “formal-old-world” for me to meet my inspiration word of comfort (everyday living, nothing so formal you don’t use it EVERY day) for our home.

    I’m also working on him to let me paint an armoire I got to house our kids toys red… he’d rather stain it… but we’ll see. Maybe we’ll compromise and stain it with a red stain. :)

    Thanks for all your inspiration, and for letting us know that you too have a balancing act to pull off with your husband.

  89. laura

    No painting wood of any kind is SUCH a man thing! :-)

    I think over time our tastes have somewhat melded…I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how open he’s been to the decor of the house. That said, every once in a while I have to throw him a bone…and as such will soon be the proud owner of a swivel recliner. :-) Alas.

    laura @ the shore houses inspiring blog post..What a dish.

  90. Lisa

    Hubby and I mostly agree on what we like though he is also against the painting of the wood! :) He does like to have some input.

    One thing he is a stickler about – absolutely NO shabby chic! So I do honor that. There might be a decoration here or there that could fall into that category, but that’s it.

    Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolatess inspiring blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Sleeping Dog

  91. Billie

    I’m so jealous of those wives whose husbands don’t care about decorating. Unfortunately, mine is very opinionated. If he could he would buy only from IKEA and keep the hand-me downs from his parents. I don’t mind spending a little extra and getting furniture that will LAST. My husband claims that if he didn’t give his opinion it would be like living in someone elses home. However, by and large we have very similar tasts. To mediate fights he lets me pick out several “options” when it comes to furniture, color, ect and he chooses which ones he likes. In the end we come to an agreement on something we both can live with.

  92. lloyd princeton

    Agreed many times over! The designer plays interpreter, arbiter, mediator, and finally, designer!

  93. Robby Burroughs

    As I’ve been working on going through all of your old posts (after having come upon your blog a month or so ago), I find this post, as the guy that I am, quite amusing. The reason I started reading this is that, as a college-age guy, I’ve been wanting to make the house I’m sharing with a couple friends feel more like a home. Coming upon this post in particular, as my girlfriend and I are looking to move forward in our relationship (and thus have been talking about the future), I had to pause for a couple minutes to just laugh.. Because, as it turns out, I (me! the guy!) am going to most likely be the one doing the majority of the decorating when we eventually move in together. Just thought I’d share that amusing lil tidbit :-)

  94. Jenn

    Yes my husband has an opinion and it is a strong one! He has the stronger personality then I do so his way wins, it is easier that way. I happen to be the woman that loves the exposed wood look, I love rustic :) I would rather have painted walls then wall paper and a simple design is easier to clean then something with notches, nook and cranies. My husband loves victorian. I can picture him sitting on a proper victorian style couch with a bag of chips playing video games. We are in the process of fixing a shell of a house that is 130 years old and the most difficult part is who decides what doors, window and everything else there is to chose. Do those dating sites have a decorating question on them? because they should. I need just 1 room to be mine that is me and my style to feel comfortable in the house. So in my case, I like what most men like, plain, simple and my husband likes all the trim and bows. So maybe like most men I say whatever and plan on retreating to my craft room to feel comfotable in my own space even if I have to put a tent on the lawn to do it.

  95. Aquelle

    My husband recently voiced out that our home is all me and none of him. I have tried to tell him that our tastes clash because he likes more of the college dorm feel, but I on the other hand have been decorating our house to look more like a home. I don’t put any cute stuff, i just like earthy neutral tones. I feel as though since i spend more time at home and clean it i have more of a responsibility to make it look good. Am i wrong?

  96. darla

    Well we live in an older double wide, I guess what I have done to every room in our home was try to make it look nice. One room I did every wall with redwood cedar blanking, still working on it because of several coats of sealer, to make it shine. Husband says it’s ok, but I have tiled, the real tile on walls floors ect. Redid counter tops cupboards, hardwood floors. My husband could care less, even after all my hard work to try to make it nice, he wants to tear it down and by a new one, I will be devastated, why do I keep doing this knowing he wants a new home. I wished I could send you photos, so to me my husband could care less and he is never here. Why do I keep doing this when no one cares.

  97. Gayle Schneider

    I’ve been looking online trying to find some help with a new issue when it comes to decorating and my husband’s opinion! So after you read this, if you have some advice fir me “Please I need Help”
    So we’re moving and recently we bought a new king size platform bed, new sheets, pillows, and comforter. The bed I had a say in, the rest he told me after he made the purchase on Amazon!! So he bought Coffee sheets and reversible comforter in coffee & cream! I don’t mind “Brown” or anytime I say that he says “no it’s coffee” let’s be honest Coffee is brown in color to the color “Coffee” as he says is “Brown”. Then he bought our 15yr old son new sheets in a beautiful deep red color!! Anybody starting to see my delema? So I could make myself happy because he can’t seem to see the problem here, I took two of the extra pillow cases from my son’s sheet set and used them in our room. Adding a pop of color and with the comforter I used the reverse cream side. Looks beautiful, I even bought fabric in “Coffee” and deep red to make new curtains.
    I thought he understood that brown us not my color, I’m willing to compromise, but Brown is so deep, dark and a man cave color! So in our new room there is one grey wall and at first he said it’s a nice color and we should keep it! I truly wanted to smack him, ummmm No! Red, Brown(oops, coffee) cream and grey!! Are we in an instatution? The wall is not staying that color. So my girlfriend told me she has some paint in that exact red color I like, so we can have it. The my husband suggested we contrast with “Yup, you guessed it!” Coffee?!?! I explained that with two deep colors that’s going to make our room appear smaller, then he said Tan, I think the cream like the comforter would look better and open up the room more, plus tying the theme all together. He just clammed up, because I said can you leave me to the colors and decorating and you have all the other things, such as remodeling, the cars etc..
    So am I just being unreasonable? Should the one who spends the majority of the time in the home, cleaning the home keeping the home looking good. Have the power to make the decorating decisions?? If so how can AI explain this to my husband without causing animosity between us?


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