For those of you who have been asking to hear about my airport {mis} adventure, behold The Airport Drama. As I mentioned in a previous post, I had traveled to NYC to see my daughter’s school choir sing in Carnegie Hall. It was a wonderful honor for her and a great experience for us. We enjoyed our time in NYC but to be honest, I was ready to go home!
My mom and I were flying home separately from the choir so we could use our United miles. We arrived at JFK two and a half hours early like good airport rule-obeying model passengers, and sat and drank coffee until it was time to board.
Mom and I — innocently waiting for our flight.
This is where things started to go downhill. Unfortunately, without warning, our flight was bumped three hours and we were going to have to spend the night in the San Francisco airport as we would’ve missed our connecting flight. After begging three separate agents for another flight to Portland, we were able to be booked on the same Delta flight my daughter was on. Yippee!
The only catch was that the Delta flight was leaving in 35 minutes. From a different building in the airport. HOLY COW! And we had to stop to pick up our own luggage from the United baggage claim AND get new tickets before we could board. We had to ride the tram to get to Delta, and go through security again. Oh boy. We were warned we would not make it. But, you don’t tell me I can’t do something! LOL!
So, with my mom following behind me, I started to run like a mad woman through the terminals. Mind you, I had no idea where I was going. We flew down escalators. And boarded a tram. And yelled out for directions. We took wrong turns. Waited for luggage that never arrived (because it ended up in San Francisco). And ran some more until we reached the Delta counter. We arrived with our hair sticking up and sweat pouring off our brows.
Winston simulating what our hair looked like after running through the airport
Of course, we got Miss Mumble Grumble Crankster at the ticket counter. No surprise to us, her ticket printer didn’t work and she assured us (shaking her head with a loud sigh) we would indeed miss the plane and we should just give up right now. Fat chance (I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it).
She motioned for us to go through security. We barged in front of about a dozen people (Sorry!) and threw our bags on the scanner. Of course, as always happens when one is in a particular hurry, my laptop signaled the “officials” as it went through the x-ray machine and I was told to go through the process again. My flight was supposed to LEAVE in nine minutes. C’mon people! NINE MINUTES! Everyone seemed to be moving in super slow-mo. I tried to appear calm and collected, but I might’ve ACCIDENTALLY rolled my eyes. MAYBE I mumbled something in appropriate about Delta’s service. I don’t know.
Next thing I know, I am escorted to the “Secure Area” by Mr. T. I was frisked and glared at. My identification was studied with a fine tooth comb. I tried to patch things up by smiling at the security guy with my most innocent grin (cheese!), but by that point it was too late. I was now a suspect and I think the whole airport went on Red Alert.
My best, innocent grin. Nothing guilty about this face.
I can’t imagine what all the fuss was about, but I was really getting irritated. After what seemed like a few national security conferences and phone calls to The White House, they decided I was allowed to go on my merry way. I’m grateful for the stepped up security in airports. I really am. Don’t get me wrong. But I had a plane to catch.
Me, caught on hidden security cameras just before entering the airport.
I noticed the boarding area was (good grief!) 30 gates away, so we started running again. Running and running and running. Had I only been wearing my favorite “sensible shoes” I could’ve gone faster. WHY, OH WHY! had I chosen fashion over function? My feet looked super chic but the rest of me was looking mighty frazzled by that point.
Note to self: wear running shoes to airports from now on.
We shoved past people and pets and probably scared a lot of small children. Excuse me! Pardon me! Move it BUDDY! Finally arriving at the gate, hearts pounding, only to find it DESERTED! Nooooo, tell us it isn’t so!!!!! No one was in sight. I sadly turned towards the window to leave when I saw it! The plane! It was no longer connected to the gate, but it was still there! The plane, the plane! I could see it!
We ran to the window and I started jumping up and down waving at the little men working below. No one paid attention. We found an employee with a broom and asked her to PAHLEEEZE get us on the plane. We told her my daughter was on board. I didn’t mention that she was with chaperones or that she is sixteen. Pretty soon the lady with the broom was jumping up and down with us in front of the gate window, using a made up sign language to indicate we had a “wee one” on board and needed to be let on the plane.
We went back to jumping up and down and gesturing at the cockpit window of the plane. I can’t imagine the horror or laughter that must’ve been going on in the cockpit as the pilots watched us through the window. The sight of us could’ve alarmed them enough to re-alert security. I wouldn’t have blamed them, our antics bordered on the ridiculous. I’ll admit it. But suddenly we saw the giant gate start to move towards the plane. Fortunately for us, the captain had mercy on us. He had seen our cries and our groveling and took pity on those poor pathetic women in the window. In an exceptional move of kindness, the gate was reconnected to the plane on our behalf and the doors swung open. THANK YOU CAPTAIN!
We were allowed to board. After hugging the crew and shaking hands with Captain Tom (we would’ve used it as a blog photo op, but my camera was in San Francisco with my bags), we made our way to our seats. Most passengers looked at us with squinted eyes (the “evil eye” as I like to call it), but as we neared our seats the choir students broke out into cheers and clapping for our valiant and successful effort. We did it!
It was a proud moment for my daughter (just kidding, I’m sure she was mortified — MOM!! Please. So embarrassing.)
And that was my airport mis-adventure. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Oh my…..it’s a wonder we didn’t read about you in the papers! ROFL!!!!
Rosie
that is insane.
my mother repacked her bags quickly right before she left for the airport in france. only to discover…in security…that she had put her big set of brand new expensive french KNIVES in her carry-on bag!! she said all these french plicemen were going nuts and then she heard “knives!” in a french accent and realized what she’d done. they made a big deal about it…of course. and they took them away forever. total bummer.
it is always amazing to me to ever have any flight go as planned.
are they ever on-time?
do they ever not have engine problems?
are the ticket counter people EVER friendly?
you have to feel pretty proud of yourself for getting an airplane to come back for you. not many people can say that.
Melissa
Well, now you know nothing is ever easy in New York! Yikes! I am trying to imagine the visual of you running with the heels –hee-hee!
I like the pic of you smiling your best–do I suspect an FAO Schwarz outing?? ha-ha, it looks like you had a great time in all! Great post!
:0)
Tara
Hi girls! Yes, I went into FAO Schwartz to find a little something for my seven year old! And snapped some pics for him while I was there! Didn’t realize they’d come in handy for some of my “creative illustrations”…
Twitter: Loridilo
says:
Oh my goodness! what a story, and I am sure, one you and your Mom and your daughter will never forget! Ha!
Glad you made it back safe and sound. Many people you met that day might question the “sound” part
Janet
OMG, how funny! Are you sure you didn’t flash a little leg or something to get that pilot to come back?
Glad you had a good time!
xoxo,
Mary
LOL I’m sorry but that was hilarious! reading that made me feel like I was watching a Hollywood blockbuster lol
Anna
Whew! Glad you made it!
Your photos were funny, too.
Becky K.
Wow! That was quite the story! Glad you made it!
Ok, I know it was probably not fun while it was happening…..lol, but your story had me laughing out loud. I am so happy you made it on the plane…I LOVE your determination girl!
Hugs,
Penny,
p.s. my granddaughter and the rest of her choir, just sang at Carnigie Hall a couple of weeks ago
OH MY GOSH!!! THIS WAS MR. TOAD’S WILD RIDE FOR SURE! You had me glued to my seat! I love your tenacity! The photos definitely contributed to the story!
I do a “turtle eating lettuce” routine and once while my daughter was in grade school, her teacher had lettuce brought to me during an assembly. You can imagine how enthusiastic my daughter was to see her mother playing a turtle in front of the entire school. I wasn’t bothered in the least, but my daughter literally slid down in her seat! She still speaks of this incident fondly… NOT!
I actually was thinking about you today! I read Jo’s post (NeareAnDear) on blogging, as well as all of the comments which of course included yours. Very nicely stated, my dear! I eventually added my thoughts, although there was plenty of good input!
Finally, thanks for the compliment on the windshield funny! That is definitely my style of humor, but that didn’t happen to me. It’s a shaggy dog story that has been around for awhile. Now, when I’m doing public speaking, it is not beyond me to pretend that happened to me. I will make it a bit more clear on my blog.
Tootles,
KJ
Thanks
Oh my goodness! I had such a good laugh after reading your story. I love all of your pictures with my favourite one being the picture of your dog!! Funny, funny girl!
)
Thanks for commenting on my blog the other day about what to do with my living room. It was very appreciated. There have been some really wonderful creative ideas that have come out of that post. I am amazed at the talent and generosity of the ladies of blogworld. Thanks again.
)
Oh my word – I LAUGHED so hard reading this and seeing Chewbacca with the Blaster and Ammo (saying that was you before entering the airport! too funny) – I think you summed it up in a WONDERFUL and humorous (although at the time it was not) and highly enjoyable story for your readers! My goodness – you have a way with words! I’ve not been entertained this much in Bloglandia for quite some time. Cheers!!! You made my evening reading about your somewhat miraculous Airport drama! xox Sher
okay that was one of the more entertaining posts I’ve read in a while!! Sorry that it happened to you…no, wait…well, I AM sorry it happened to you, but also very GLAD I got to read your extremely amusing version of the story.
Love it!
I guess the good thing about bad experiences like that is that they make good stories later on!
I wanted to tell you that I did a post about “drive bys” on my blog and linked back to yours. Hope that’s okay!
gosh..what an experience, BUT i had fun reading it, especially love the pics..very hilarious
You have a treasured family memory for generations to come!
These days just running through the airport (with a distressed/intense look) is enough to alarm security. I had a near-miss when I was traveling home from a Nova Scotia wedding and six months pregnant — a big belly and a small brain: I’d laid down my passport and ticket in an airport store. Geesh! By the time my dear hubby, MIL, SIL, niece, and employees (in several stores, mind you — how could I know WHICH store I’d left them in?!) retraced my steps, we had held up the plane 10 minutes (and as you can imagine, I could NOT run as fast as the others so I told them all, save my husband, to run faster and STOP THAT PLANE!). Yes, passengers DO have the “evil eye” when they’re delayed on the runway. 
No mercy for a pregnant lady either!
Thats so funny. Nearly EVERYTIME we fly, I get searched…baggage and my person. I dont know if I look like a guilty person or something, but its everywhere I go. In Maui they tore my luggage apart looking for another compartment…two years ago they took my oldest son from us and xrayed his cast on his arm. My brother is very dark with a beard, I guess they think he is middleeastern (we’re italian)..so he winds up getting pulled aside into a private room to be searched as well…its a family joke now. The only airport that doesnt bother us is Key West lol!! I certainly dont think we look like shady characters!
Wow! What a day! I’m so happy you made the flight at last! Hope you had a nice time once there!
Have a nice weekend!
Susanne
I am laughing and laughing, great story, great pictures and of course is was all Murphy’s Law . . . Rachael:)
Wow, what a tale, Melissa! So glad you made it and they let you on. What a funny story. Have a great wekend!
This is the most entertaining and wonderful story of a terrible day. But, Oh you should have this published. You had me laughing, then on the edge of my seat. I could see all the details as if I were right there. I love the images too. What a great story, sorry about the luggage, but your writing is Superb! Karen
and that is the best and most amazing airport story ever…even beats mine when the captain put me in first class! the jumping up and down, waving with an employee/broom is a priceless image there. would have been a hit on you-tube, no wonder you said you need a nap! well done!
Dear Melissa…I’m sweatin’, out of breath and my hair is standing on end, after reading this hair raising tale! What an adventure! Loved the story and the illustrations! I’ll be reading this to Mr J, this morning, too.
Pat
Melissa, this is probably the funnies post I have read anywhere. I loved all the pictures you enclosed too, I was really cracking up laughing when reading it.
Flying , in my opinion, is sheer hell these days. What a crazy and hectic experience you had..cannot believe you made that plane. : )
Now THAT my dear is impressive!! I’m glad you’re home safe and sound. Love,Rachel
so glad you made your plane. i am surprised that you were not stopped as you ran through the airport. i have done that very thing and been stopped by evil eyes and gun toting guards. {would that it had been chewbaka (sp)} i’m laughing imagining your daughter’s reaction when she saw who delayed the departure!! what a great story, and delightful posting! jkj
It’s a wonder you found your way back home to us Melissa!
It wasn’t fun, but you made it funny!
xox
Constance
Many thanks for Inspiring posts!! I am amazed to see all the different textures, colours and settings. Enjoyable and inspiring at the same time.
Have a great great weekend!
Aina x
Hil-ar-i-ous! Thanks for the Friday Funny!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a loud Haurrrahhhh for your Mom, for keeping up with you, through this marathon!!!
)))
So sorry you are looking out at snow too. Just as I am, over here in the NE.
Global Warming? Ahemmm… Ahemmmm… Ahemmmmmm…
Mari-Nanci
Great story, Melissa! Now that would only happen once in a million for them to let you on that plane, LOL. Y’all were very fortunate. What an adventure. We were all holding our breath that you made it. Wheewwwwww!
xo,
Rhoda
Having been through NYC airports on many occassions as well as living there (in NYC that is ~ not the airports) , I know exactly what you were up against! Still, it was pretty funny … although at the time it may not have been. Glad you made it through your ordeal!
I love NYC but have always said that a weekend is just enough … 3 days is about all I can take before I’m ready to leave.
xo,
Lynda
ps ~ what a fabulous opportunity for your daughter to sing at Carnegie Hall! I’m sure she’ll remeber the experience forever!
Hi Melissa…so pleased you made the plane
Your description had me in stitches, I could visualize you running….I know it wasn’t funny at the time, but you must of been laughing as you were typing your post!!!!
Makes me tired just reading that! Glad everything worked out though!
I’m still laughing!
This proves that good things can come of adversity and that
e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is fodder for blogging.
Thanks for indulging us!
Ohmygosh, your photos and captions are always THE BEST. Girl, you can tell a great story.
Happy Weekend!
Hi Melissa! I just posted a THANK YOU LETTER PROJECT where Bill is collecting 100 Thank You letters for an upcoming book. You might be interested. KJ
That is such a great and wonderfully told story Melissa. Your Mom is definitely a trooper and what a wonderful Lucy and Ethel moment you shared together! Your writing is so picturesque my feet were hurting as you ran down the miles of airport hallways. Have a great weekend Melissa.
love j
Melissa, I have to say the two of you look particularly charming in the first picture. If you still looked like that when you were jumping up and down in the window for the pilot, I can see why he decided to let you on the plane.
What a special memory you made. Thanks for sharing.
Two years ago hubby and I won a cruise – woo hooo! Flew into Miami – luggage lost. Got on the boat – very seasick. Got off the boat. Stayed in well known (except to us) gay hotel. The service was great though =) Arrive to airport 2 hours early for the flight home. Stopped at security. Missed our flight. Went back to hotel =)
Glad we have all made it home safely from our various escapades. Happy Friday!! Blessings… Polly
Chewbacca, LOL!!!! Oh my, that was funny!!!!
Your little doggie is adorable by the way!!!
*huggies* Dara
too funny…oh! not so funny?!> lol. Thanks for coming to see me..hey you’re right!! Whats up with this snow?? Blossoms on the trees with snow coming down…STRANGE!! Heard the last time it snowed in Oregon in March…1951. No global warming today huh. lol. Laurie
Melissa, that story just made our day. I love your determination in the face of adversity.
Lisa & Alfie
an incredible story and still you made it into the plain, against all odds!! i very much enjoyed your airport adventure on this early saturday morning. cup of coffee and melanie’s nightmare!
)
)
great way to start the weekend
i love the participation of winston, showing his hair-do
Wow! My God! I’m still laughing! You should write a script for a moovie!
See, this is why you should take the train…even if you miss it there will be another one along in 15 minutes
Not to mention the fact that you stay on the GROUND!
Great airport lounging outfits, by the way. LOL
Terri
Melissa,
How funny! Wish I could have witnessed all this.
Hugs,
Cathie
You seem to have been busy LOL. Hope you’re having a great weekend.
Love Elzie