Once upon a time, I was definitely a reluctant entertainer. I wasn’t reluctant about having people over, though, I was reluctant to have them over for dinner. I didn’t know how to cook anything that resembled what I thought was a “guest worthy dinner.” I was intimidated by friends who made delicious four course sit down dinners, always had their houses clean, and would never put the salad plate where the bread plate was supposed to go. It was just all too much for me.
I knew I’d never measure up to my own expectations of what I thought “having guests for dinner” meant. In order to hide my lack of confidence — and quite honestly to hide my lack of desire to gain gourmet cooking skills, I would throw Make Your Own Pizza parties, Ice Cream Sundae parties, and Taco Salad bars. Cause I am fancy like that.
If it was easy to make and preferably if people had to assemble it themselves, I was safe. I mean, if your ice cream sundae tasted awful it was your own fault. Right? Right. BRILLIANT I tell ya!
Looking back, I now realize there should have been no shame in any of my attempts at entertaining. At the time I felt I was an epic fail as a hostess, even though in hindsight I was just trying to find a way to have people over that was manageable for me and allowed me to let go of unrealistic expectations (and let’s be honest here, I wanted to be able to spend more time decorating than I spent cooking! Soooo true, I cannot make this stuff up. )
Little did I know my desire to focus on authenticity over perfection in entertaining and decorating, {and my passion for creating ambience in decorating over the task of preparing a gourmet meal in a kitchen}, would someday lead to this blog The Inspired Room. Clearly I would never be writing a cooking blog. AND The Inspired Room would lead me to some of my best friends in the whole wide web world, Sandy and Nester, and the three of us would write a book about ourselves called The Reluctant Entertainer.
OK, that last part is a lie.
Sandy is the only one who wrote the book. But you knew that.
I just feel pretty special to see my name on the back, even though I knew it was going to be there. And this weekend was the first time I had actually seen it in real life!!
I took this picture at night holding it up to my camera. And somehow a black smudge got on the book and I didn’t even notice until just now.
I might have written 20 bazillion blog posts over the years but I have never written a book. So it might be a small thing to celebrate, but I am SO EXCITED to have my name on a book! ESPECIALLY on the back of THIS ONE, right next to my pal Nester. Nester and I completely and wholeheartedly believe in the message Sandy shares:
Entertaining is not about perfection, it is about connection.
Giveaway: Book, Apron & Tea Towel
TWO lucky winners.
To celebrate my dear friend Sandy’s new book, today I am giving away a copy of The Reluctant Entertainer to TWO lucky winners and if that is not so amazing by itself, each winner will ALSO receive a beautiful demi pink sorbet apron and tea towel (pictured above) from The Hip Hostess! SOOO adorable, you will totally want to have a party just to wear this apron and set out your tea towel. And with your handy dandy guide from Sandy on how to make entertaining doable, you’ll be all set to invite people over tomorrow night!
If you want to buy a copy of Sandy’s book for yourself or for a gift, you can find it here in my amazon store! This book is truly amazing and inspiring, you really will love it! I promise!
To enter this giveaway, leave a comment here about your most embarrassing entertaining story or your biggest reluctance in having people over. Then go let your friends know about the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter and your blog and come back to let me know where you posted about this and you’ll get extra entries!
Giveaway is now closed!
Thanks for entering!
The first time I had my mother in law over for dinner, we also expected my husbands brother to come as well. So I made a lot of food for some reason, even though there were only to be four guests. I had NO clue about portion sizes or amounts of food to make. I ended up having an entire plate full of left over pork chops. Not just a few either, more like 10!
I tend to really stress out about having company over. I feel like everything has to be perfect – and nothing is ever perfect enough. I don’t know why I’m like that. I just feel like I’ll be judged somehow. I have a friend I love to visit though. It doesn’t matter what her house looks like, when you’re there you have her undivided attention. Like there’s nothing else she’d rather be doing than chatting with you. It’s awesome and I wish I could be more like her!
I would love this book, I have a small ranch that I love but I am always nervous to entertain because I feel like I should have a more formal dining room for everyone. I need to get over it and just do it because I know at the end of the day the friends coming over don’t care about all of that, its about sharing a meal and making memories.
I am reluctant to entertain because I am always afraid that the food will not be good enough, my house clean enough etc. I also really do not enjoy cleaning up after a get together. Though this weekend we solved that by having a crab boil. Easiest entertaining we have ever done!
Young wives and mothers, take heart! Your little ones will grow up and YOU will have to chase after them to spend time with them. Cherish their momentary “interruptions” and think of their pleas to spend time with you the most honored invitation you’ll ever receive. But I digress. When I was dating my future husband, I created and prepared eggplant parmesan as well as some other odd vegetable side dishes. We had an enjoyable time and it wasn’t until many MARRIED eggplant-free years later he told me his most hated food was eggplant! Talk about embarassing! We celebrate thirty years of marriage this September and I always think of what might have happened if he’d refused to eat my culinary creation or not called for another date! He’s a keeper!
Somehow I always tend to forget a key ingredient at the store and it’s usually something strange that I can’t borrow from neighbors!
One time we were having so much fun visiting didn’t hear the timer and burnt the whole dinner, now I pin it to me
It was when we were newlyweds and we had invited another couple over. I made a cheesecake early in the day with plans to let it cool, then put it in the fridge. Instead, I ended up placing a tray of chicken on the cake while it was still in the oven and took a quick nap.
When I awoke, I could not find the cheesecake ANY WHERE and came up with the idea that we had been robbed of the cheesecake
(I am not kidding) My husband came home shortly after that, and once he became convinced that we had indeed been robbed, went to the hardware store to buy new front door locks!!!
Our company arrived to find just me and reinacted the scene of the crime. The visitors found the pancake-like cheesecake in the oven just as my dear hubby arrived back at home. We still laugh at that story.
Dee
drobbins111@me.com
The biggest thing that holds me back from having people over is just simply taking the time to DO IT!! Days get filled with all sorts of things and sometimes I just need to slow down and take the time to send out an invitation. I really enjoy entertaining after I finally get the ball rolling! Thanks for the giveaway Melissa!
would love to win this spectacular give away!
Our most embarrassing moment, might have to be the night we had Mrs. “Perfect Hostess” over. She and her husband had just complimented us on our beautiful dining room table, hubby explained rather proudly what a great deal we got on the table. It had two pedestal legs, & each leg had three “feet”, one of the feet at that very instant, popped off, causing the table to be off balance, and almost sent hubby’s plate into his lap. Embarrassing to say the least.
Or could it be the next time we had several couples over, and before I could even sit down, one of the guests asked if I had anymore salad dressing? The homemade dressing I had whipped up WITHOUT a recipe was GONE before the bottle had made it around the table to each guest. “Oh, (awkward pause)… it’s all gone???” “Uh, just a minute I’ll be right back!” Ran to the kitchen, tried to whip up more, hoping it tasted similar to the last, whew, what pressure! And very embarrassing!
At my daughter’s Kindergarten birthday party three of the girls had to use the bathroom at the same time. Fortunately I had three bathrooms. Unfortunately only two of them actually had toilet paper. Yeah.
I had to explain to the girl’s mom why she was a bit wet and uncomfortable. And I worried a GREAT deal about whether or not she had washed her hands well….
Although we do entertain some, my reluctance to have friends over more often for dinner is space. We live in a small rental home and there is barely enough room for the 6 of us much less our friends and their kids!
I placed a link to the giveaway on my blog, on the top right-hand corner. What a cute apron, would love to win!
My biggest reluctance in having people over is not wanting to go through that last hour of uptightness I feel about not being as far along in the process as I would like.
And the other thing is I find people stay too late and I am wiped out by the time they leave.
How do you get people to leave? I’m serious. I’m good for 3 hours…4 at the max.
I was carrying dinner to the table when it slipped from my hands and smashed all over the dining room floor. After a few tears were shed (mine), we ended up ordering pizza and having a great time.
Sandy’s book arrived while I was out of town over the weekend. It was waiting for me by my front door! I can’t wait to read it. I am trying not to pick it up because I know if I do, I won’t want to put it down!
Kelly
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Hi Melissa, I also get very stressed out when having people over for dinner. I really am trying to ease up on myself and just enjoy the time spent with my friends and family. My worst entertaining experience was when a good friend and his date came for dinner. I fixed Lasagna and caesar salad only to find out she hated cheese! I offered to make her other things but she didn’t like anything I suggested. His date ended up eating a ham sandwich and pouted all night. Our friend never went out with her again!
Hugs, Sherry
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I am always reluctant to have company because I am a perfectionist and things are never quite perfect enough – I get stressed out because I judge myself too harshly and am afraid others are judging me, too. I like cooking for company (though I often take on projects that are too big and don’t give myself enough time to get them done), but I am afraid people will be bored and I won’t have properly “entertained” them. I would love this book!
Wonderful giveaway! I have so many disaster stories, including Christmas dinner being two hours late! but over the years I have learned to embrace Plan B and now I might even say I look forward to it
I remember having another couple over for a simple dinner in our first year of marriage. My friend wanted to help me so I let her help with making the gravy. Little did I realize that the lid on my Tupperware gravy shaker was not tightly sealed…after a good healthy shake, my guest had a paste of flour and water all over herself and my kitchen. At the time, it definitely wasn’t funny but after some time, we had some great chuckles over it. Thanks for the opportunity to share and win the wonderful book and cute apron!
Some friends of mine were traveling the country in an RV and stopped at our house. I wanted to cook them a good, warm meal for their efforts. I knew they preferred to eat vegetarian, so I made them my yummy black-eyed peas and corn bread. They very sweetly ate it and made the appropriate noises about its deliciousness. Then one of them slyly asked, “So, how do you get them to taste this good?”
I glibly answered, “Oh, I put in a ham bone, makes all the diff… OH NO!!!”
We all remained friends. It was a vegetarian miracle.
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I tweeted about the giveAway here:
http://twitter.com/BellaMellaMel
When I entertain, I’m constantly worried about whether everything is perfect; perfect food, perfect ambiance, perfect seating. Consequently, I rarely entertain. It’s just not that much fun but I love being around others who seem to have dotted every “I” and crossed every “T” when they entertain.
One time we had a bunch of friends over for dinner. We’re newlyweds, so our furniture situation is a bit sparse still…well, with more than 15 people, several folks had to sit on some pillows on the floor! I was incredibly embarrassed, but they didn’t seem to mind.
Thanks for the chance to win the book and the apron – super exciting!
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My reluctance is because I’m a perfectionist. I feel everything has to be perfect, and it stresses me out. In the end, it’s all about the company. Also, it’s hard to find the time, and find a time that works for everyone else as well. Great giveaway, btw!
I would LOVE to win this book – We live about 30 minutes away from EVERYONE we know (which to us, 30 minutes is no big deal) but to EVERYONE, it’s like we’re asking people to drive across the country! I feel like I need to have something great when people finally do come so they feel their time has been worth their drive!
Where do I begin…except to say that I found your blog via the Hip Hostess and am so very delighted that I did, I could spend hours here and plan to this evening once the children are in bed. Who would not love your darling giveaway, so off to tweet about it now.
…at the moment I am reluctant to ET because everything we own is sitting on a cargo ship and we are living in a rental…not to mention, we have yet to meet anyone in our new town, but it has only been a month so with any luck time will change all that
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I don’t recall a horrible story, which I suppose is a blessing
, but I still struggle with wanting everything to be perfect when I have people over. But we have a few really close friends whom I’ve learned really don’t care about what is served, it’s great to just spend time together even if we just order a pizza!
I am the biggest reluctant entertainer…I am hesitant to try new recipes and really get into the kitchen. I would much rather plan an evening to go out to dinner with friends. But, I am really making an effort to change that :c) Times together at home talking, catching up, playing games, having the kids run around etc are so much more enjoyable and memorable!
I love entertaining and so far no embarrasing moments have taken place but I’m sure soon enough now that I have 2 little girls thrown into the mix something will come up. I would entertain more often if it wasn’t expensive buying all the food and of course all of the little decorations that come along with it!
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What a fantastic giveway, I am a reluctant entertainer because I always stress out to the last minute.
BEAUTIFUL blog and beautiful aprons…oh my, I am in love with them!!!
i think my house isn’t pretty enough or i spend all this time prepping food just for people to shove it down and say thanks without giving any thought to all the effort
That apron is so cute! I’d have people over just so I could wear it. Then I’d have to decorate with a theme that went with it …. and then, like you, come up with a worthy dinner to serve! My funnest events have been having friends over for a dress-up tea party, with big brimmed hats
and pretty decor. It’s so much work that I don’t do it often. I need to focus on smaller ‘less big deal’ dinners.
Thinking back, the most embarrassing dinner party I ever had was probably way back before I knew how to cook anything, and my room-mate and I had two guys over to our tiny place for a fancy dinner. I made my one and only ever ~ oh, I can’t remember what it’s called now ~ a roast that is marinated in wine and then baked covered with pie crust.
The guy ~ he’s been my husband now for a zillion years, which is a miracle in itself, as I found out later he only likes ‘plain’ food.
I should have just thrown the roast in a crock pot with some potatos!
~ Violet
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I always, always get stressed thinking something will go horribly wrong. What I need to realize is I’m picking things apart nobody would even notice!
a couple of years ago for New Years Day – we had a table full of company – and dinner was almost ready. I had my pork and sour kraut done and was heating up the pork gravy on the stove – when all of a sudden the glass dish that the gravy was in shattered into a hundred (or more) pieces. Gravy and glass scattered all over my stove and counter! Embarrassing – but a great dinner, nonetheless!
What a great giveaway! Thanks.
I really need to read this book!
Oh, I am trying so hard to get over my reluctance. I really want to have people over, but I’ve really only started to learn to cook in the last year or so, and I always wish our house was prettier.
For a long time we were renters, and one of our houses had hideous paint and carpets and paneling, but we couldn’t really do anything about it. It’s taken me a while to realize that my real friends don’t really care if everything is pretty or neat or whatever. I can just do my best, and we can enjoy each others’ company!
I had recently divorced and moved two states away where I knew almost no one. I had a date that wanted to double with friends of his that I had met once before. The plan was dinner at my place, then out to a movie (how did THAT happen??). Things went along fabulously — nothing burnt, found enough chairs to wedge us all in around my tiny table, everything done at the same time….. now, WHERE are the steak knives? Anyone? Yeah, still in a box in the basement I guess….or maybe I never even packed any when I moved? Thankfully, no one minded sharing.
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Congratulations on your mention—I loved your story about your reluctance to entertain. I used to feel the same way, especially since the woman who introduced me to my husband of 37 years is a gourmet and when we invited her to dinner my meal was a disaster…I prepared a jello kind of pie that didn’t set up and I cooked Green Giant veggies in a frozen pouch—when I served them they had little chunks of ice in them…my husband comforted and encouraged me to continue to try and while I’ll never be a gourmet I love to cook and entertain!
Tweeted!
How about the time I was making beef stroganoff and cream corn on the stove and added the ketchup to the corn…right in front of all my guests. I managed to get most of it out, but we had slightly pink corn that night….
Growing up with a mom who made everything on the fly sans recipes and made such a production out of the Thanksgiving turkey (roasting in the oven through the odd hours and getting up every hour on the hour to check it), I was always disappointed that I had not inherited her domestic intuition gene. However, following recipes and cooking “intellectually” got me by the first few months of my marriage. I felt confident enough that I could pull off a Thanksgiving turkey contribution for my then-husband’s ginormous extended family. I was rather smug that I’d remembered to allow sufficient time to thaw said turkey, not to mention the incredible bargain. All proceeded well, and I learned roasting a turkey did not have to be the overnight production my mom made it out to be. A perfectly browned turkey was proudly, if not a little smugly, turned over to my mother in-law to add to the spread. But wait…what was this? A little surprise package tucked neatly inside the turkey. I had forgotten to remove the giblet goody packet when washing the turkey! I had horrific visions of food-poisoned relatives or some other awful consequence. I didn’t rest or breathe easily again until weeks had passed without any news of any untimely passing of any relatives due to food issues. Whew!
I accidentally subbed salt for sugar in a recipe. Nuff said?
I really had to learn to cook everything. (I guess we all do.) Over the years I have mastered many dishes but my reluctance in having people over right now is space, my house is so small. I hope to get to do more entraining again soon. I am soexcited about this book and I LOVE the beautiful demi pink sorbet apron and tea towel from The Hip Hostess!
Some of my most favorites blogs, The Inspired Room, Reluctant Entertainer and the The Hip Hostess!
Hmmm…I think my most embarrassing moment was when I decided to make (for the first time) Beef Wellington. I spent more time “testing” the Madeira wine then putting together the beef with the dough. My dad had to help me complete it. I had to sit down for a bit. They weren’t pretty but the tasted good!
Getting ready for hosting a dinner, putting in a table leaf and the other person pushed too hard and my bum went through a glass window. Funny part – hubby not home to check “it” out so I had to let my friend see if there was glass in my…
i hate when the food is taking longer to cook and people are waiting.
I was hosting bunco at my house (which is quite a project since the house has to be spotless, the yard beautiful and the food and gifts impressive), and I was serving grilled Hawaiian chicken; after about two minutes on the grill my grill ran out of gas, so I had to finish it in the oven which took a lot longer than I expected. We had to eat about 40 minutes later than usual. I now only serve items that can be prepared in advance!!
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