Once upon a time, I was definitely a reluctant entertainer. I wasn’t reluctant about having people over, though, I was reluctant to have them over for dinner. I didn’t know how to cook anything that resembled what I thought was a “guest worthy dinner.” I was intimidated by friends who made delicious four course sit down dinners, always had their houses clean, and would never put the salad plate where the bread plate was supposed to go. It was just all too much for me.
I knew I’d never measure up to my own expectations of what I thought “having guests for dinner” meant. In order to hide my lack of confidence — and quite honestly to hide my lack of desire to gain gourmet cooking skills, I would throw Make Your Own Pizza parties, Ice Cream Sundae parties, and Taco Salad bars. Cause I am fancy like that.
If it was easy to make and preferably if people had to assemble it themselves, I was safe. I mean, if your ice cream sundae tasted awful it was your own fault. Right? Right. BRILLIANT I tell ya!
Looking back, I now realize there should have been no shame in any of my attempts at entertaining. At the time I felt I was an epic fail as a hostess, even though in hindsight I was just trying to find a way to have people over that was manageable for me and allowed me to let go of unrealistic expectations (and let’s be honest here, I wanted to be able to spend more time decorating than I spent cooking! Soooo true, I cannot make this stuff up. )
Little did I know my desire to focus on authenticity over perfection in entertaining and decorating, {and my passion for creating ambience in decorating over the task of preparing a gourmet meal in a kitchen}, would someday lead to this blog The Inspired Room. Clearly I would never be writing a cooking blog. AND The Inspired Room would lead me to some of my best friends in the whole wide web world, Sandy and Nester, and the three of us would write a book about ourselves called The Reluctant Entertainer.
OK, that last part is a lie.
Sandy is the only one who wrote the book. But you knew that.
I just feel pretty special to see my name on the back, even though I knew it was going to be there. And this weekend was the first time I had actually seen it in real life!!
I took this picture at night holding it up to my camera. And somehow a black smudge got on the book and I didn’t even notice until just now.
I might have written 20 bazillion blog posts over the years but I have never written a book. So it might be a small thing to celebrate, but I am SO EXCITED to have my name on a book! ESPECIALLY on the back of THIS ONE, right next to my pal Nester. Nester and I completely and wholeheartedly believe in the message Sandy shares:
Entertaining is not about perfection, it is about connection.
Giveaway: Book, Apron & Tea Towel
TWO lucky winners.
To celebrate my dear friend Sandy’s new book, today I am giving away a copy of The Reluctant Entertainer to TWO lucky winners and if that is not so amazing by itself, each winner will ALSO receive a beautiful demi pink sorbet apron and tea towel (pictured above) from The Hip Hostess! SOOO adorable, you will totally want to have a party just to wear this apron and set out your tea towel. And with your handy dandy guide from Sandy on how to make entertaining doable, you’ll be all set to invite people over tomorrow night!
If you want to buy a copy of Sandy’s book for yourself or for a gift, you can find it here in my amazon store! This book is truly amazing and inspiring, you really will love it! I promise!
To enter this giveaway, leave a comment here about your most embarrassing entertaining story or your biggest reluctance in having people over. Then go let your friends know about the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter and your blog and come back to let me know where you posted about this and you’ll get extra entries!
Giveaway is now closed!
Thanks for entering!
I am reluctant to have people over because I don’t want my home to be judged, which is why I don’t mind having over the high school girls from church all of the time – high school girls are suprsingly non-judgemental about certain things
Jessica recently posted..Contributing Writer at MamaBuzz
I have way too many bad stories…but I’m afraid that I’m mostly reluctant because I don’t feel like my house is “finished” much less stylish.
One of my most embarrassing entertaining moments took place when my family and I were living in South America. The bigwig board members were in town for meetings and were assigned different homes for dinner. The night before the dinner was a general meet and greet dessert night. When I introduced myself to one couple, the woman gushed, “We’re coming to your house for dinner tomorrow night and I heard that you are the best cook in Shell.” No pressure there.
The dinner guests arrived. Meat was always iffy because it came from the jungle. Well, the meat I served was absolutely inedible. We sawed and hacked and finally I removed it from the table and told everyone to quit trying. And I offered seconds of dessert.
My biggest fear about having people over is that my house will not meet up to their approval. I have no idea why I have this fear…our home is beautiful and always clean and neat…it’s just my perfectionist personality. I need to get over it and have people over more often!
I am the same way you described yourself. Not confident in my own cooking, but also not really wanting to get something already prepared. Over the past few years though, I have really come out of my shell a bit and enjoy having others over.
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I can’t think of an embarassing moment, though I’m sure I’ve had some, but I think one of my reluctances is having people over whom I know are particular about what they eat and hoping that what I serve is acceptable to them. While I know I can cook a variety of things, I have friends who make known their “particularness” and it makes me a bit paranoid at times.
I posted this on my facebook
A friend of mine brought over a loaf of bread for a birthday dinner for another person. I put the bread wrapped in tin foil on the second shelf of the grill. It caught that and everything else on fire on the grill..
I just did a post on this giveaway on my blog. Whoo hoo
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Being a mom of 3 little ones (5, 3 and 7 months) I can’t count on both hands how many times they have interrupted beautiful dinners with “potty disasters”, throwing up, or bloody injuries! I consider it their contribution to making sure the adults have plenty to talk (or laugh) about!
I always want to have people over but honestly think I’m not good enough. There are a thousand excuses, my home is to small, I can’t cook them fancy steaks, you name it I’ve said it. I was so excited to see this book come out. After reading your story I feel like I was reading my own. Can’t wait to follow your blog.
Oh man. My biggest reluctance would have to be the cooking part. I’m still working on that. I can make a killer flank steak, but that’s not usually in the budget!
When I got married, I had never cooked before. The first guests we had over for dinner a few weeks later were my in-laws. I was mortified when they arrived early because I was hoping to have finished all of the cooking before they arrived (if you don’t know how to cook, it is SO much worse when someone is watching you struggle). It was actually a good thing, because I was about to put an ENTIRE bulb of garlic in the dish because I didn’t know that it broke apart into things called “cloves.” I’m glad my MIL mentioned that before it all went in the pot!
When I cook for others I always feel my food does not add up. If people tell me its good, I tend to not believe them – even if I think its good. Why is that?
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My biggest fear/obstacle regarding entertaining is the mess. What if one of the kids opens the door to the den, where I just tossed everything to get it out of the way?!?! The book sounds wonderful, and the apron is gorgeous! What a fun giveaway! Thank you!
As our family has grown, I’ve entertained less instead of more. I feel like our house it too small – it’s full with just my family. If we have another family over with kids, it’s hard for the adults to hear well enough to visit.
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I am so reluctant to entertain because I always feel like I don’t have enough space! I am dying to read this book and the apron is so adorable!
My aunt is a woman we called “the world’s best cook”. She made delicious ‘crumb buns’ which were a fluffy white bread that were dipped into a flour, butter, and sugar mixture before baking. In our family, they were a treat even better than dessert! When I was a teen she shared her recipe with me. I had learned to cook from my mother, but having aunt’s recipe was a special treat. I was sure to make the recipe exactly as her written recipe directed. Company was coming and the crumb buns were to be served! Unfortunately, aunt forgot to add the yeast to her recipe and my crumb buns fell flat. What a disappointment! Aunt thought it quite funny — I think she felt I was quite inexperienced to not realize that I should add yeast, even if she hadn’t!
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I don’t have any horror stories yet (thankfully!), but I am not always confident in my own cooking. We have only been married for 6 months, and I am getting better, but I’m still learing the ropes in some areas. Thanks so much for the chance to win Sandy’s awesome book!!
Several years ago, we invited a couple for dinner from my husbands new job. We were showing them around when our very old dog proceeded to leave a present at the woman’s feet…let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. Then as they were leaving, the same dog Max, managed to get up on the kitchen table to wag goodbye! Very embarrassing!
The second time I cooked dinner for my husband, then boyfriend, I had a piece of very tough roast lodged in my throat. He noticed and asked if I was okay as there was no sound coming out of my throat. I smiled and waved him off while quickly excusing myself (pride would not allow me to receive the Heimlich on a second date–I’d just assume suffocate by way of beef). I hid myself away and frantically started throwing myself over the back of a chair thereby dislodging said beef. I’ve since improved my roast and set my pride aside–child birth will do that to a girl (diminish your pride…not improve your roast).
This book look’s a amazing and love the kitchen set-I really enjoy entertaining – but am reluctant . Don’t feel like my house is “finished” much less stylish or it costs too much.
Most embarassing moment was greeting company at the front door and realizing I had forgot to put in my false teeth– Not a pretty Picture-LOL
I love having people over, but I live in a small apartment and feel as if I am always waiting for the day that we have a house and I can do some “REAL” entertaining. I think this book would definitely help me out, even in small living quarters.
My biggest embarassment was when I invited my brother and his new wife over for dinner. Now she was that rare woman who is always nicely dressed, fully made up, sweet, organized, and nice (see why he married her)? I always felt slightly grubby and rough hewn around her.
They arrived, I was flustered, and I turned on the wrong stove burner (the one underneath the pyrex casserole dish that I set up there to cool, instead of the one underneath the vegetables). I greeted them, we chit chatted, and then my pyrex exploded. The hot glass ruined the vinyl floor in the kitchen, too, costing us our security deposit!
Yep, my perfectionism has kept me having people over. I’m working on it! I would love to be entered to win these GREAT products!
my biggest reluctance to having people over is the state of my house. It’s not always super clean, but I’ve been working on that and letting go.
I am reluctant to have people over because of several reasons….my very small kitchen and table for only 4, and because I never know what to cook when entertaining. I have trouble thinking of what goes together well.
I am truly the Reluctant entertainer. I love to cook but……when I have people over I want everything to be good so I stress over it so badly that it seems better to not do it then do it. Now I have no stories because I entertain so infrequently that there has never been a mishap. I also have 2 dogs and a crzy cat and I refuse to lock them up while the party goes on. Also I stress that my house is not clean enough. Do you get the picture *wink*. Is there help for me?
Love & Hugs, Pam
Fortunately, I have a husband who loves to cook. When I have people over, I get easily distracted, so the thought of actually preparing a meal with multiple items to be times to come out all at the same time is overwhelming. This book sounds like it would be a big help!
One Thanksgiving morning the heating element in the oven broke. I had to cook all the sides on the stovetop and serve my family and friends a Turkey dinner without the Turkey!
My worst fear when entertaining is that guests will show up early. I am always trying to finish things at the last minute. For my daughter’s first birthday party, my husband’s family showed up almost 2 hours early! I had showered, but had no makeup on, hadn’t bathed the baby, hadn’t iced the cake, etc. UGH!!! I wish I could be better at preparing ahead of time.
Coming home from church to find the puppy had eaten half the Easter ham…with the extended family coming in the door right behind me for Easter dinner. That was THIS year, by the way!
And I tweeted about the giveaway (smiths2boys1gir) and facebooked about it, too!
My most embarrassing hostessing moment was when I realized that substituting frozen green beans for canned required more cooking time. I was a newlywed and hadn’t made it before, so I just cooked it like the directions said. I served it to our guests and THEN realized that the beans were still frozen!! Doh.
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No matter how many times I have guests, I still get worked up about it. Would love to read Sandy’s advice!
The lights went out during a BBQ – we were eating in the dark and when the lights came back on there were bugs all over our chicken.
I am always so paranoid the food won’t taste good. Especially those items you can’t sample ahead of time, like bakes casserole’s or pastas, and pies.
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What an awesome giveaway! I definetly could use a little help. I’ve hosted baby showers & helped with my neices birthday party. But i would never have a party of my own. I honestly don’t know if I am the person to be responsible for entertaining others, they may get bored & never want to come over again! That’s what I am most scared of!
Way, way back in the day as a newlywed, my husband and I were hosting a gentleman for “brunch” who was in town to interview us for an overseas position. I worked so hard to make everything as special as I knew how. As part of the meal, I prepared a beautiful “quiche lorraine” but instead of adding evaporated milk, I added a nice big can of SWEETENED condensed milk! Oh my goodness, we had what we now refer to as an amazing “dessert quiche” for brunch. But hey, we got the job and moved to France that fall!
I tweeted your giveaway!
Our most embarrassing entertaining moment happened a few years ago when we had a new couple from our church over for dinner. My husband thought he would “tweak” a chocolate cake recipe and substitute whole wheat flour for cake flour. Needless to say, the cake weighed about five pounds and tasted like cardboard with frosting. We still laugh about that dinner party! I love the Reluctant Entertainer and cannot wait to read her book!
I posted on FB !
Your blog is daily eye candy; thank you!
What holds me back from entertaining more? A small house that is not decorated as well as I would like because of time and money, not knowing what to serve and how to it serve, insecurity and fear of not communicating love and welcome.
Wow! I need this book!
All my fingers and toes are crossed to win Sandy’s book! Her blog has really changed my thinking as I was reluctant to entertain mostly at short notice. I felt like I could only entertain if I had a long time ahead to plan and plan. But some of our most fun times have been when we invited someone over, spur-of-the-moment! Love your blog too. esp that you have Westies!
The only time I truly “entertain” is when I’m hosting my book club group and I swear I stress out more and more each time. Most of the women in my group have large, gorgeous houses and entertain at the drop of a hat – so that is where the stress comes. I entertain rarely and have a small but sweet house I call my home. But – it never fails that people ooh and ahh when they come over and compliment not only what I made but my decor. I love that. Maybe when I win the book I will become a not so reluctant and spread my wings and fly. Thanks for the giveaway – I love, love, love the pink.
What’s holding me back??? I actually love to entertain, but lately it seems like we always have some room in a state of redecorating shambles and my perfectionistic nature does not want anyone over unless everything is in it’s rightful place. Yes, I know it is crazy and the hoards of children over at my house each day do not seem to notice, well as long as I continue to keep popsicles in their hands and direct them back outside to the pool
Soon after being married, we had a couple of people over for dinner. I decided to replicate a delicious meal we had had while on vacation that summer–chicken breast with a raspberry yogurt sauce. Unfortunately I did not have a recipe. What I lacked in culinary experience, I made up for in bravado. Now, being older and somewhat wiser, I would never attempt something for-company-without-a-recipe-never-been-tried-before. Oh, the insanity of youth!! No, it did not turn out well. It took longer than I thought to cook it, it was tough, and the yogurt curdled (no surprise!). My guests were sweet, though, and ate it bravely and without complaint. I learned my lesson
I love to entertain and like that this pink apron is super cute. My most embarassing entertaining moment all involve my cat, Bailey. She is normally a very nice kitty when it’s just me but she has this crazy case of fear aggression and feels the need to attack all of my guests. I mostly lock her up now but sometimes I forget and it’s a big cat attack scene that would embarass almost anyone. Love all the inspiration on your blog.
more chic than shabby recently posted..Potting Bench
Hmmm some of my more embarrassing stories really should better be forgotten, but what always is my biggest stumble block is the food, it isn’t ready yet, it doesn’t turn out the way I intended (might have something to do with the fact that I tend to try out new things when guests come), or projects I felt I really needed to do before the guest come and that are not going like planned.
Plenty of reluctance in my entertaining.
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We hosted a staff meeting with our team of 11 people. I offered to have lunch for everyone so we could celebrate Cinco de Mayo as well. I decided to make pork carnitas. I didn’t have the time (or make the time) to clean the oven, so as the delicious meat was cooking in the oven, the oven was smoking! So, as we sat there smelling the wonderful aroma of this meat, the room was slowly getting cloudy during our meeting (there is no vent in our kitchen). It all turned out alright (actually everything was REALLY delicious), but it was a bit embarrassing, to say the least.
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