Once upon a time, I was definitely a reluctant entertainer. I wasn’t reluctant about having people over, though, I was reluctant to have them over for dinner. I didn’t know how to cook anything that resembled what I thought was a “guest worthy dinner.” I was intimidated by friends who made delicious four course sit down dinners, always had their houses clean, and would never put the salad plate where the bread plate was supposed to go. It was just all too much for me.
I knew I’d never measure up to my own expectations of what I thought “having guests for dinner” meant. In order to hide my lack of confidence — and quite honestly to hide my lack of desire to gain gourmet cooking skills, I would throw Make Your Own Pizza parties, Ice Cream Sundae parties, and Taco Salad bars. Cause I am fancy like that.
If it was easy to make and preferably if people had to assemble it themselves, I was safe. I mean, if your ice cream sundae tasted awful it was your own fault. Right? Right. BRILLIANT I tell ya!
Looking back, I now realize there should have been no shame in any of my attempts at entertaining. At the time I felt I was an epic fail as a hostess, even though in hindsight I was just trying to find a way to have people over that was manageable for me and allowed me to let go of unrealistic expectations (and let’s be honest here, I wanted to be able to spend more time decorating than I spent cooking! Soooo true, I cannot make this stuff up. )
Little did I know my desire to focus on authenticity over perfection in entertaining and decorating, {and my passion for creating ambience in decorating over the task of preparing a gourmet meal in a kitchen}, would someday lead to this blog The Inspired Room. Clearly I would never be writing a cooking blog. AND The Inspired Room would lead me to some of my best friends in the whole wide web world, Sandy and Nester, and the three of us would write a book about ourselves called The Reluctant Entertainer.
OK, that last part is a lie.
Sandy is the only one who wrote the book. But you knew that.
I just feel pretty special to see my name on the back, even though I knew it was going to be there. And this weekend was the first time I had actually seen it in real life!!
I took this picture at night holding it up to my camera. And somehow a black smudge got on the book and I didn’t even notice until just now.
I might have written 20 bazillion blog posts over the years but I have never written a book. So it might be a small thing to celebrate, but I am SO EXCITED to have my name on a book! ESPECIALLY on the back of THIS ONE, right next to my pal Nester. Nester and I completely and wholeheartedly believe in the message Sandy shares:
Entertaining is not about perfection, it is about connection.
Giveaway: Book, Apron & Tea Towel
TWO lucky winners.
To celebrate my dear friend Sandy’s new book, today I am giving away a copy of The Reluctant Entertainer to TWO lucky winners and if that is not so amazing by itself, each winner will ALSO receive a beautiful demi pink sorbet apron and tea towel (pictured above) from The Hip Hostess! SOOO adorable, you will totally want to have a party just to wear this apron and set out your tea towel. And with your handy dandy guide from Sandy on how to make entertaining doable, you’ll be all set to invite people over tomorrow night!
If you want to buy a copy of Sandy’s book for yourself or for a gift, you can find it here in my amazon store! This book is truly amazing and inspiring, you really will love it! I promise!
To enter this giveaway, leave a comment here about your most embarrassing entertaining story or your biggest reluctance in having people over. Then go let your friends know about the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter and your blog and come back to let me know where you posted about this and you’ll get extra entries!
Giveaway is now closed!
Thanks for entering!
I am the most reluctant entertainer ever. I know it stems back from childhood and a mean trick some kids played on me… far to pathetic to share. But it also stems from my mother’s amazing ability! She always went so over the top that I never feel like I could ever live up to it! I honestly avoid having to host anything at all costs… which is really terribly sad. It really is kind of a phobia for me.
So HELP! Plus I LOVE aprons!
Amy Caroline recently posted..Why All the Changes
I need this book desperately! I would love to be a hostess that was relaxed and could actually enjoy the company of the people that you have invited over. My house is small and I try to have outside gatherings but I worry so much about rain that I make myself sick!
How about trying to make twice-baked potatoes without knowing you have to bake them the first time WITHOUT tin foil – We ended up having loaded mashed potatoes instead
P.S. That apron is TO DIE!
Tanya Ortelle recently posted..Win a Rosetta Stone software pack! Yes Please!
I had a ‘big reluctance’ event just last night. My husband’s brother, sister-in-law and nephew were heading home from vacation and decided to stop by our ‘new’ house (that they haven’t seen before) on their way back down to FL. They called mid-morning yesterday and would be here by dinner time. The funny thing was that my husband (the one related to everyone that was coming) was leaving before they got here to head out of state for the night. (A trip that couldn’t be put off) My husband and I have been married less then 6 years and we live so far from his family so I haven’t had the chance to ‘hang out’ with them a whole lot. I was a little bit nervous about it but my husband told me to relax that they are really laid back and that I didn’t need to feel like I have to put on a dinner party for them. Things went great. It was a very relaxed, laid back evening. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and realized that my hubby was right. I didn’t need to worry about a thing. Thanks for the opportunity to win this give-a-way. I would love these items.
Such a classy giveaway! I made banana pudding (the kind you can do without cooking in a trifle dish) once when we were first married and realized later that I had not put the bananas in! I don’t know if any guests realized or not- regardless, it tasted good!
I think I am most reluctant because:
1. We live ‘in the hood’. I love our big, old house but some folks are intimidated by our ‘hood’.
2. Because we ‘live in the hood’, we have two large dogs. Some folks are more intimidated by them……
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to have people over…. except….. I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. So, if it’s a playdate, and I don’t have to clean up all the toys or cook (which means making the kitchen presentable) then I’m good to go. Pre-children, and when it was just one (and he was in the baby stage) we would have friends over to eat and watch our favorite show. People don’t want to come over to eat PB&J and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, they can do that at their OWN homes!
When my husband and I were first married and lived in tiny apartments, I was definitely reluctant to entertain because of having so little space, a miniscule table, and pretty humble food. But, we did have a few people over during those days, and although slightly embarrassed at times, we always had a great time. That was the beginning of me letting go of perfectionism.
Would love to win!!
My biggest reluctance is that I am a terrible house keeper and it requires so much work to get my house clean because of this.
Years ago we invited a couple over for dessert on a Sunday night, and they arrived expecting dinner! It was a little bit tricky, but we worked it out.
I am both an idealist and a perfectionist. My biggest problem is that I always expect the perfected me to be here when the guests arrive … which, of course, never happens. We have 8 young children, and life is VERY real at our house. I’m getting better at taking a deep breath and doing my best. There’s nothing to apologize for if we all have a great time visiting. I’ve actually looked at Sandy’s book – it’s awesome! Thanks!
Hopeful Homemaker recently posted..Perfection
I love to cook and entertain but I never entertain because I am worn out. I value family time with my little family and I am reluctant to feel obligated in my own home. Terrible, sounds selfish, etc…and so weird in that I love to cook, decorate, etc….I feel like I will entertain more when the kids are a little older! But I am also a perfectionist and it seems like a lot of work…so I need to work on my attitude about it! Working on attitude now…cookbook looks lovely!
I decided to throw an engagement dinner for me and my fiance (since no one else would do it for us). I decorated and cooked everything myself. On each place setting, I put a tea candle cradled in a bed of fake moss in a small bowl. Let me tell you that there were probably four or more fire “incidents” during the dinner. The fake moss and the free standing tea lights were not really a good idea. Most of the cloth napkins were burned in the process. Looked really cute though!
When my husband and I first got married, we realized we didn’t know how much food to cook per person. We had a small dinner party and as soon as we started filling plates, it was very obvious that we did not prepare enough for everyone.
I always remember the time my mom dropped dinner on the floor face down. It was pretty awful. And yes, we picked it up and still ate it. She was mortified.
My most embarrassing “having people over” story was we had invited the pastor and his wife of our church over for dinner. The wife brought a homemade cake for dessert. After dinner we put on some coffee and went to cut the cake and ants were all over the cake. .all over it!! I was so embarrassed. And did not know them well enough. . was this gonna gross them out to cut off the outer layer and eat it anyway. . .we certainly could not throw it away, could we? I mean she spent how much time making that for us. I did cut off the outer layer and served the insides and we laugh now at that first time we had dinner together.
Thanks for the opportunity to win this book-
Su
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Well, my most recent embarrassing hostess story is from this past Friday… when I was about to put the homemade pizza in the oven, one of my guests pointed out that there was a hair on it. And since it was long and red, it was definitely mine. I pulled it off and they still ate the pizza after it was baked.
We held Christmas at our house soon after we were married. My husband was moving the glass top table into another room and completely shattered the table top into a million pieces. The house was small so there was no way to get around it and there were little children there too. Thankfully, no one was hurt but everyone ate with plate in hand a full course meal. It has been 9 years, and we are still reminded of it by family members.
One time I decided to try a new recipe out on company; something I had successfully done before. This time however the meal was horrible, I mean truly, truly inedible and we had to order pizza.
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The first time we had my Dad over for dinner after we were married, I really wanted to impress him. I decided to do a scallop stir fry. I kept cooking and cooking them, thinking they looked too white to be “done.” They turned out like rubber super balls! Thanks for the chance to win the book and other goodies!
My latent perfectionist, borderline OCD, procrastinating tendencies rear their ugly heads and stifle me!!!! Working to overcome them….this book would be a start in the right direction!! Thanks for offering the give-away.
Ohhh there’s the time I baked cookies and didn’t realize I added too much baking soda cause I measured it wrong by misreading the recipe. The monster cookies were so salty and gross!
I am most reluctant to have guests over unless everything is perfect….I am working on this, and am doing much better. Sandy’s blog has been a huge encouragement to me and I love your blog too!
blessings, kathy
Twitter: Mommieblogs
says:
Lately, I am so reluctant to entertain because of all this baby gear around and the little time I have to keep up with the house!!! I just can’t seem to prepare for guest like I use to and it makes me shy away from having people over. I know its so ridiculous because when we do entertain we have such a wonderful time with our friends!
I just found this website today. I am so excited about it! My husband and I enjoy having friends over, but we have a hard time with entertaining people with dinner. It is always so stressful! I’m not a great cook and my expectations for myself are ridiculously high. I have a friend who could give Martha Stewart a run for her money and I love going to her dinner parties. How in the world can I live up to that? Especially since we have mutual friends who may be comparing me to her! Ugh! I just wish I could get over it and enjoy entertaining.
I rarely entertain guests because of mainly because of space restrictions, but also because I want everthing to be perfect. It doesn’t help that our carpets need replaced badly….Embarrassing!
Your blog is divine!
Twitter: mykitchenaffair
says:
I love having people over, but I will say that I think my small home scares me from entertaining more.
Amy B recently posted..Surf and Turf with Citrus Chili Hollandaise
I am a good cook but it was the holidays & I was very busy. My husband had received a gift of a Beef Wellington from a company–I thought, why not entertain a little simply, for a change. Well, everyone raved about the meal & of course, assumed it was homemade because I would never consider anything else. I felt very guilty but never admitted that I did not make it. The next day a guest called for the RECIPE!! Luckily, I pour over my cookbooks – I was able to put my finger on a similar recipe in no time. Hope it tasted just as good
!!
I love this giveaway and would love to dive into this book
so fun !! Blessings ,Michelle
The one thing holding me back from having guests over right now is our new puppy! She is the rudest little thing ever. She’s lucky she’s cute!
My most embarrassing “hostessing” moment was when the stromboli that I had in the oven decided to leak. The cheese oozed all out of the dough, dripped onto the bottom of the oven, set all three smoke alarms off in my house, smelled AWFUL…all just in time for me to welcome our whole new community group from our church (most of whom I hadn’t met yet) by opening all the windows to let out the smoke. What a great greeting…they were probably thinking they should eat before they came to the next meeting!
I love to entertain and show off my house. I did however throw a party a few years ago, and some of the guests showed up early. I answered the door in my bathrobe, and my hair in a towel!
I love to have people over, but don’t do it very often because I feel like their homes are decorated so much nicer. I am trying to get better about this and force myself to volunteer my home for parties. God has blessed me with a nice home and I need to be more willing to open it to others.
Would love to entertain in my home but have been so intimidated to do so! Don’t know why…perhaps, one day, will have a successful dinner party. Thanks for the giveaway!!!
As a working mom, I always feel like I don’t have time to cook for friends. I barely get my family fed, let alone thinking about others…
I want to cook everything myself and never ask anyone to bring anything. I’m getting too old to keep doing this. I know I’ll have a much better time.
i’m scared to entertain too much!
my home is small and i’m
always worried that something is
going to go wrong!
but, i would love to be
comfortable
with entertaining!
one day…
My most embarrassing entertainment was a cooking disaster….because
I locked myself out of the house with dinner on the stove. A neighbor had to pick the lock. Thankfully the house didn’t burn down. Needless to say we went to a restuarant!
What a great giveaway and a way to inspire entertaining! I think my biggest reluctance towards entertaining is worrying that my house isn’t clean enough!!
My most embarrasing hosting moment…serving a beautiful bruchetta chicken dish only to serve it out and find out that the chicken was still raw! I was mortified.
I am reluctant to entertain, because I am not very good at small talk and I hate long pauses in conversation. I feel like I should say something witty or funny and I really want to, but I never know what to say…and I end up wishing I could be quiet and go to bed!!!
I have 3 or 4 dinner recipes that are “guest worthy”, and all my potential guests have had them all! NOW what do I make?!
I blogged about the giveaway here:
http://achocoholicsdiary.blogspot.com/2010/07/go-win-wednesday_27.html
Rachel recently posted..Go Win Wednesday
I LOVE entertaining! However, I rarely do so. We have 5 kids 7 1/2 and younger and I feel like it’s so much work to get the house “company ready”, so it’s easier to just meet at a park, etc. I am trying to get over myself and take baby steps to getting back to what I love!
Jessica Christoffersen recently posted..Spiritual Gifts
Shared on facebook:)
Jessica Christoffersen recently posted..Spiritual Gifts
I’m willing to entertain, but like so many others have eXpressed, I struggle with trying to make everything perfectly perfect and wind up too stressed and eXhausted to enjoy myself or my guests. Silly, I know. Sounds like I NEED Sandy’s book! ThanX for the chance to win.
diXymiss recently posted..Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
My most embarrassing moment while entertaining was when I lost my grip on a bowl of cucumber salad and spilled it all over my friend’s lap! I’m was so glad we are great friends and she understood. But still, I felt horrible!
The reluctance I’ve had of entertaining has come most out of insecurity and a ton of excuses. “My house is too small.” “Can I carry a conversation?” “Will they even show up?” All the excuses were focused on me instead of my guest. I’m learning to make it less about myself and more about my guest or intended guest. If I’m focused on my friends, they’ll probably enjoy our time together instead of worrying about the dust on my lampshade!
I shared on Facebook!
I share it on Facebook!
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