All is calm. All is bright.

All is calm. All is bright.

Because I know you are all wondering how I fared over the weekend (thank you all so much for your support and hysterical comments on this post!), I successfully dug the table out from under the avalanche. Go me!

Ironically, as I was taking the top pic the boys jumped up on the sofa and smooshed up the cushions I had just fluffed, but I’m OK with that.

All is calm. All is bright.

I put the freshly washed slipcovers back on the sofa. Yes, I just wash, dry and put back on. No ironing!

I swept the floors, vacuumed, dusted, did the dishes and cleaned toilets.

I hung a few things on the wall in my daughter’s freshly painted bedroom (yahoo! the ‘swine’ elimination continues).

I got most of our Christmas shopping done. OH YEAH.

All is calm. All is bright.

And, Jack even got his hair washed for the holidays.

BOO-YA. Deadlines are our friend.

And finally, after careful consideration, I decided to NOT put the ornaments back on the lower half of the tree.

It is really for the best because shortly after my last post, Jack walked right over, casually lifted his leg, and peed ON our Christmas tree. With my family as a witness, I kid you not. You cannot make these things up.

I saw the whole incident right in front of me, but was too stunned to take a picture. And I definitely didn’t want to recreate the incident for the camera.

In his own defense, his explanation was he was just pleased we finally got indoor plumbing for him.


Yeah. Understandable mistake.

Moving on.


  1. Alice Adams says

    This post made me laugh out loud! Jack is just the life of your party! Everyone should experience raising a puppy!! You can’t imagine what things happen with a puppy! As I am typing my one year old Chihuahua, CoCo is eating the carpet! One more week and you can relax for a while, well as much as possible with a puppy in the house. I so enjoy your posts! Merry Christmas!!

  2. Funny post! I have two hairy dogs. I love everything about them, EXCEPT their hair! Do you have dog hair issues, too? I vac almost everyday. They have not peed on the tree, yet. Thank goodness!

  3. Oh my goodness, that doggie! My husband is currently cleaning up garbage off of the front porch that the dog got to. Nice.

    Nothing feels like a clean house! Good job!


  4. Too funny about the dog pee!! I love it. Your aftermath pictures of reality are so great! I am at a pretty good status quo and even though there are just two of us here I had to spell out to the Mr that I really don’t have time to do the same thing over and over so please lets keep it up for at least the week! You wouldn’t think you would have to spell that out but you do! LOL


  5. Yeah… my cats enjoy hacking fur balls onto the carpet. Not the tile, wood or rugs… always on the carpet. This morning, new present. Where? Kid you not, a half inch from a rug. Yeo, managed to get the carpet. They are pros.

    Pets. God made them cute so we don’t kill them.

  6. I came over to see your tabletop decorations and got a Christmas chuckle out of this post!! We need some behind the scenes truths to keep it real. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Oh my gosh – INDOOR PLUMBING????? You crack me up. =))

  8. Your home looks lovely! Nothing feels better than starting a new week with a clean house.

  9. Oh my word … I am NEVER getting a male dog … ever …

  10. Yep I’ve been witness to dog pee incidents on Christmas trees myself. That is why there are NO wrapped presents under the tree! Plus the bottom half of my tree has no ornaments, no pretty burlap ‘garland’ because the 2 kittens in the house have enjoyed playing in the tree! Life with pets. Gotta love it!

  11. Thank you for the belly laugh.You don’t know how much I needed that today. Also, to Jack, who has to just be the “icing on the cake.” I love your posts about him.

  12. oh that is too funny about the dog! i guess you can’t blame the pooch…there’s a tree inside ;)
    glad you got some things done that you wanted to accomplish!

  13. Jack is so cute! I love him!

    After two weeks of leaving the Christmas tree alone, my cat Squeak decided to eat it. Needless to say, several minutes later she upchucked said Christmas tree. I don’t think she’ll be snacking on it again.

  14. I can’t believe it – I think I would be so mad and then die laughing….

    Jack, Jack, Jack…

    At least the swine is almost gone….

  15. Melissa,

    Indeed you are having a lifetime of Christmas memories rolled into one year! Reminds me of the time our children were still small, company was coming for dinner and our cat took a flying leap at our Christmas tree. Needless to say the tree fell over, half the ornaments broke and once we uprighted the tree…well, let’s just say it had one side completely smooshed. That is what greeted our guests while I tried to look composed. Ha Ha

  16. The slipcovers look great. I love the no iron part.

  17. Oh you make me laugh. I love dogs. They definitely make some funny memories. Thankfully our dogs( a cocker spaniel and a heinz 57) have not touched the tree. Belle, the cocker, likes to sleep under the tree. I’ve yet to get a picture because when she sees the camera, she begins to “search” for the flash. For some reason she thinks it’s her job to find that light and rid our house of it. Maybe I’ll get a pic before the tree comes down.

  18. Love you and you’re ability to keep it real!! Tooooo funny about Jack!!

  19. LOL, Jack!
    Our cats are switching off hiding under the tree…and standing on their back legs batting at the ornaments.

  20. Dear Jack,

    That was the best laugh I have had in a long time! I hope Santa still puts chew toys in your stocking.

    You are awesome!

  21. Things are looking great! I’m impressed.
    I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

  22. …i can so believe and understand the jack story…41 years ago when we were first married and both away teaching school during the day…our first pet (a precious/funny standard poodle) would chomp away at our first Christmas tree…i would come home to find him sitting at the top of the stairs covered in stuck on candy canes…wiht that innocent look that only dogs (and i later found out…little boys)…could have…many many trees later…many many dogs and cats later…many many wild little boys jumping hooping later…i still smile at just how much we loved that funny dog…and our first Christmas together…blessings and hugs laney

  23. Congratulations! and Congratulations? Impressed by your accomplishments and laughing a lot (but quietly, since all of the kids are still asleep)about Jack. Nothing says “Christmas” like some bodily functions!

  24. Melissa, *I* am now cleaning off my December Susan Branch blotter calendar (thank goodness it’s almost time for anew one), various Rolodex address cards for Christmas cards as yet unwritten :::ahem::: AND the computer screen for the second time in several days thanks to YOUR posts.All for the love of a dog! I thought I had heard it all but now I surely HAVE! This is definitely one to be submitted somewhere. Thanks for the laugh and the spewed coffee which means I have a clean desk this morning again!

  25. Where did you get your slip covers? I mucho like!!!!

  26. You are too much! I can’t believe he peed on the tree, wow. I have a 4lb dog who can’t hold his bladder very well, and he wears a diaper. No joke, my dog wears a diaper. When he’s wearing it though it prevents him from having accidents, but I swear dogs are the funniest. Congrats on all that you got done, you love deadlines, I’m kind of like the opposite. I like to get things done early so I don’t need to stress! So happy you had a great weekend!

  27. Just another…”A Day In The Life..”. You’re keeping it together though!

  28. And just last night I was looking at pet adoptions! Your post about Jack made me “paws” (sorry, couldn’t resist) and think again about getting a dog. Thanks for giving my husband and me a laugh to start the day. Also, I think I’ll get off my butt and straighten up the house.

  29. Cracked me up!!! You gotta love dogs!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!


  30. I loved the table center piece with the candy canes. That came out really nice looking. I had a poodle that pee’d on a strangers leg one time at a rest stop on a family vacation. We got out of there pretty quick. Merry Christmas.

  31. Oh, how I needed your post today, Melissa! It sounds as if Jack is having a “natural” Christmas, doing what dogs do best, surprising us at the least opportune times! We recently moved into a new home, downsizing big time, but we have managed to get a tree up and a few other decorations. Our golden retriever, Lucy, hasn’t had an accident yet; she is 3 and extremely shy, so once in a while she leaves us a surprise. Ya gotta love ’em! (the dogs, not the surprises! Ha!)Merry Christmas!

  32. We are all down to the last minute things, which always seem more to do than we planned. Too funny about Jack, he was just doing what a dog does when he sees a nice tree!! It sounds like you are working merrily along. I love that! Have a wonderful Falala day,

  33. “Indoor plumbing” – HA!

  34. I think the boys on the couch in that first photo make it look very homey. Glad to hear things got sorted over the weekend. I feel bad for the rambling comment I put on your last post :/

    I can’t believe your dog peed on the tree! I don’t recall that ever having happened with our dogs growing up…but then I probably wouldn’t have been paying much attention lol. I’ve lucked out and have a cat that’s not overly interested in the ornaments. She does like to chew on branches though (it’s a fake tree) and she also has opened one present this year.

  35. Jack does what a dog’s gotta do! Very funny from a distance though. :)

    Merry Christmas to you and your family Melissa! You are such a blessing to me and many others.

    Blessings and love,

  36. That is soooo funny!! Your house looks extremely clean, did you follow those tips? Did you launder and press the shower curtains too??? Too funny right!! Enjoy your family in your beautiful home this Christmas!!!!

  37. Coastal Femme says


    You’re always keeping it REAL! Jack’s a bad boy, but so adorable!

    Happy Holidays!

  38. Melissa,

    Now I know your “real” and not some person in the “lime-light” no one would admit that Jack “Christened” the tree!!!

    He’s probably not happy that you took away his ornaments to use in decorating the tree!

    JustME :)

  39. Your house looks ready for Christmas. Love the stories about Jack! Too funny!

  40. OMG – I was just begging for a dog and now I’m not so sure. Your story and my kids’ dogs who pooped under the gingerbread house making table just before 35 guests arrived on Sunday MAY have changed my mind.

  41. LOL! Jack cracks me up…well, this is real life and will make a fun memory for your family. The house looks festive and you have such a sweet family, that is what is important, right? :-)

  42. I don’t believe he did that, especially after all your efforts at cleaning up. I’ve almost got everything done. Still have to get a few things for the in-laws, but so far so good.

  43. Merry Christmas- just five more days-
    This post made me smile.

  44. Thank you for the news. It makes me know that my “life” is normal!

  45. Jack is so cute – aren’t fur babies entertaining!?! LOL!

    I know he is half poodle – what is his other half?

    Merry Christmas to you & yours, Melissa :O)


  46. Jack is just trying to come up with a new candle scent for next year. Ever-urine is the perfect blend of urine and evergreen scents. What a scream.

  47. I think your rooms are so inviting love all your pics. they are gorgeous. The holidays and having people over motivates me to clean and make everything fresh again. Where did you get those slip covers?

  48. Oh I swear I just laughed so hard I snorted. That was the funniest thing I’ve read in forever, and something I’ve secretly been afraid of here, but it hasn’t come to pass.

    Love your blog, just beautiful !

  49. Gail P Smith says

    So late posting, but just had to say when my daughter was a toddler I put the tree in a playpen on Christmas. Somewhere I even have the photo to prove it.

  50. So funny, Jack peeing on your Christmas tree. I have two kittens, one decided to climb the tree on more than one occasion. Finally, she knocked it over and almost hung herself with the lights. Not perturbed, when I righted the tree she went straight back and did it again. I should mention this is a fake Christmas tree and she thought she would sharpen her claws on the metal trunk. The other kitten is scared of the tree and left it alone, thank goodness.

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