When Life & Blog Collide:
Your Life Purpose & Measuring Success

I have been enjoying all the Blissdom posts around the internet…all the recaps of the fun, friends and learning that went on over the weekend.  I have been recovering all week — something about traveling across time zones, the stress of having to speak in front of people and having that much fun wore me out! But it was all good, such an amazing event! I love all the photos, but I have to admit I only took three and they were all terrible. Deanna from Domestic Chicky sent me the one of me and Nester, so at least I have something I can share!

BLISSDOM

I have to say that the very best part of Blissdom for me was meeting my friends, old and new. My roommates were Nester, Emily, Kimba and Sandy — BLISS! The only thing that would have made it better for me would have been if more of you (yes YOU) had been there. Next time, I am dragging you all with me.

Since this was my first time at Blissdom, I was a little apprehensive about what it would be like. I think had Nester not been going, I wouldn’t have been brave enough on my own. I am an extrovert who can easily behave like an introvert when overwhelmed with a crowd of new people. And there were a lot of people there I didn’t know!  I have to say though every one I met was exceptionally nice and friendly — I don’t know what I was worried about.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

Nester and I got to share some of our thoughts on blogging during our panel, but so much of what I planned to say didn’t come out of my mouth. I’m a blogging mom who glues her hands to quarter rounds, not a speaker! In a combination of nerves and the Q & A panel format, I know I felt more flustered than focused.

In the panel right before ours, I started literally shaking from nerves. It was cold, too, which didn’t help, but when I looked over at Nester for moral support, she was shaking too. I love her. We were scared out of our little minds! I think we are probably the only ones on a panel who spontaneously hugged out of RELIEF when we were done speaking. We would have much rather talked about the dangers of hot glue or the thread count on our sheets.

WHO LET THESE GIRLS TALK ABOUT SUCCESSFUL BLOGS?

While Nester and I were there to talk about “successful blogging” (just the thought of it makes me throw up a little in my mouth), the reality is neither of us set out to be or consider ourselves “successful bloggers.” We don’t know all the secrets or tricks to blogging success. We wreck up our blogs all the time, we don’t understand HTML (I know, SHOCKING!). We still aren’t social media experts.

We just bumbled our way along talking about what we love. As I shared in our panel, I didn’t even know I had subscribers until this fall. I didn’t have google analytics to track my traffic. I definitely didn’t know about SEO or keywords. Ok, I still don’t know about SEO or keywords. Trust me, ProBlogger won’t be calling us to join his team of writers anytime soon.

WHAT IS A “SUCCESS”?

One thing I can say is that I felt as successful and happy a few weeks into blogging as I do today. I honestly don’t feel MORE successful with bigger numbers than I did with less traffic. Sure, my stats are higher than last year, that is a happy thing. I am happy to break my own records. I have more comments than in my first month (um, ok, I didn’t have any comments at first. ZERO.). I like comments. I have more connections than I did in the beginning. I do love all that!

So, I should be HAPPIER and feel MORE SUCCESSFUL now than I did in the early days, right?! A rising arc of traffic brings increasing sense of happiness (um, that sounds a bit like a questionable fortune cookie bit of wisdom!)!

The truth is, what made me feel successful along the way were the little moments of self-discovery, accomplishment and validation. Particularly through the friends I have met who encourage me.

And that feeling of success hasn’t been magnified by a few more zeros on my stats. For me, each little step of validation and a new sense of community brings the same feeling of contentment that I felt early on — the feeling that you are right where you are supposed to be.

In some ways, the more zeros on your stats the more overwhelming a blog can be. Sometimes being invisible is safer — your failures are less obvious and your feeling of responsibility are less.

SUCCESSFUL HOME & SUCCESSFUL BLOG. CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

For me, successful blogging is more about finding success in LIFE. A blog can certainly contribute to your happiness in life–no doubt about that. It kind of all weaves together. Overcoming my fears, stepping out into new territory, facing new challenges and sharing my heart with others through my blog has definitely reshaped my life in positive ways! Do I have it all figured out? No!

Blogs can contribute to our well being, but they can also wear us down if our priorities get out of order.  I’ll admit, my blog EXHAUSTS me if I let it run my life! Same with our responsibilities as keepers of our homes. Our home and daily routines can ADD beauty to our life, or take away from our sense of well being if we get confused about what our purpose is and where our priorities are.

WHAT IS OUR PURPOSE IN DOING WHAT WE DO?

Is our purpose in blogging to always be working trying to achieve higher stats, even if it means we forget to feed our kids dinner? (yes, I’ve done that before). Is our purpose as keepers of our home to have the mountains of laundry and dishes DONE every day at all cost, or is it to spend time playing on the floor with our children?

It is so easy to forget what our LIFE purpose is and miss it all in our desire to achieve MORE of something we don’t even need.

WHAT STAT COUNTER ARE YOU USING TO MEASURE YOUR SUCCESS?

I think as a homemaker or decorator of our homes we can easily compare ourselves to the Martha’s of the world. The ones who do everything all perfect and have the money to make things happen the way we think it should be done. If we use the wrong standard to measure our success, we never measure up.

We worry that if anyone found out about our concealments or mistreatments or glue-gun bedskirts or super-glued molding no one would like us anymore. If people knew what our house looked like the day before Thanksgiving, or if they knew we bought all of our furniture second hand and it doesn’t really match we’d be thrown in to jail for breaking the rules of perfect homemaking.

And likewise when it comes to blogging, we venture out into an unknown community half expecting to be laughed at and ridiculed for our ideas and for simply being who we are. If we are true to who we are, blogging makes us vulnerable. Not only do we expose ourselves, our ideas and our homes, but now we are faced with comparing BLOG success and feeling blog envy! We feel like failures when our numbers or comments are down and a success when our numbers are up. Oy. The pressure can be too much!

DON’T QUIT YOUR REAL LIFE

All this to say, while I think there are some very good things one can do (and perhaps SHOULD DO) to increase our subscribers, pump up the quality of our posts, give our blog more authority on Technorati or put us on the Top Ten Homemaking Blogs of all Time list, in order to keep our sanity, our priorities, and our life in tact, my simple advice on blogging success is this: don’t quit your real life.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY AREN’T THAT INTO YOU (ANY MORE)?

Numbers go up and down, people are fickle, there are always new blogs that prettier and shinier than yours — even our moments of brilliance can fade quickly in the light newly discovered genius. Don’t measure your success by your stats (or your worthiness by your magazine cover family room.) The important thing is the life we live behind the blog. That is all that really counts in the end.

Let your blog contribute to your life and challenge you in ways you never imagined, but don’t let your blog control you or let it overshadow what means the most to you in life.

SO, IS IT WRONG TO WANT OR EVEN HAVE A SUCCESSFUL BLOG?

Should we feel guilty if we want to see rising stats or be featured on a prestigious blog or top ten list? Not at all, it is OK to want to succeed and it is EXCITING to watch it happen. Success can bring so many opportunities. We just have to be careful with how we DEFINE success each step of the way.

TOP TEN SUCCESSFUL BLOGGING TIPS, IMHO:

1. Blog about YOUR unique passion, create your own special place in blogland!
2. Make real friends (be genuine!). Comment, join in Mr. Linky events (um, like today)!
3. Be a real friend. Link to other blogs, host events and showcase great ideas, genuinely compliment others! Email people to encourage them!
4. Find a friend for accountability and support to keep your priorities straight.
5. Learn as you go and pace yourself. You don’t have to know it all today.
6. Learn from other blogs & bloggers, but resist comparing yourself and feeling defeated.
7. If you want to “succeed at blogging” work hard and faithfully, but don’t sacrifice your real life success for the blog success. Learn patience to keep life balanced.
8. Blog your own path to success. Just because you hear the secret to success is 14000 followers on Twitter doesn’t mean YOU have to buy into it.
9. Be bold. Accept opportunities that take you out of your comfort zone.
10. Post when you are inspired. And don’t be afraid to take a day off when you have nothing to say! Go play with your kids, take a walk or do something you love to do. Your blog will be all the better for it.

I want to thank Alli (you are amazing!) and all of the wonderful sponsors of Blissdom. I encourage you to Blissfully Domestic and all of these businesses who sponsored this event to let them know it means a lot to us bloggers that they are willing to support US!

Blissdom was an amazing experience and I would definitely go again! And I hope next time I’ll see YOU there. PS. I want to thank SIMPLEMOM for putting up with me and Nester and always encouraging and inspiring me. She was definitely a class act!

Speaking of blogging, you might be interested to know about this great e-book written by Pro-Blogger (Click here to view more details and how to order) on how to dramatically improve your blog in 31 days! You MUST get this inspiring e-book if you are a blogger! Your blog will thank you for it and you will be a much more confident and successful blogger. This is an affiliate link but I only recommend products I believe in!

Here is another blogging e-book you might enjoy:
Ever wonder how to manage your blogging life and grow your blog at the same time? This book has some great insights about balancing life in general, we all know how difficult that is! It is written by Rachel of Small Notebook and it is called Simple Blogging.

You can buy the e-book here:

Simple Blogging {a new e-book by Small Notebook} {This is an affiliate link}