For those of you who have been asking to hear about my airport {mis} adventure, behold The Airport Drama. As I mentioned in a previous post, I had traveled to NYC to see my daughter’s school choir sing in Carnegie Hall. It was a wonderful honor for her and a great experience for us. We enjoyed our time in NYC but to be honest, I was ready to go home!
My mom and I were flying home separately from the choir so we could use our United miles. We arrived at JFK two and a half hours early like good airport rule-obeying model passengers, and sat and drank coffee until it was time to board.
Mom and I — innocently waiting for our flight.
This is where things started to go downhill. Unfortunately, without warning, our flight was bumped three hours and we were going to have to spend the night in the San Francisco airport as we would’ve missed our connecting flight. After begging three separate agents for another flight to Portland, we were able to be booked on the same Delta flight my daughter was on. Yippee!
The only catch was that the Delta flight was leaving in 35 minutes. From a different building in the airport. HOLY COW! And we had to stop to pick up our own luggage from the United baggage claim AND get new tickets before we could board. We had to ride the tram to get to Delta, and go through security again. Oh boy. We were warned we would not make it. But, you don’t tell me I can’t do something! LOL!
So, with my mom following behind me, I started to run like a mad woman through the terminals. Mind you, I had no idea where I was going. We flew down escalators. And boarded a tram. And yelled out for directions. We took wrong turns. Waited for luggage that never arrived (because it ended up in San Francisco). And ran some more until we reached the Delta counter. We arrived with our hair sticking up and sweat pouring off our brows.
Winston simulating what our hair looked like after running through the airport
Of course, we got Miss Mumble Grumble Crankster at the ticket counter. No surprise to us, her ticket printer didn’t work and she assured us (shaking her head with a loud sigh) we would indeed miss the plane and we should just give up right now. Fat chance (I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it).
She motioned for us to go through security. We barged in front of about a dozen people (Sorry!) and threw our bags on the scanner. Of course, as always happens when one is in a particular hurry, my laptop signaled the “officials” as it went through the x-ray machine and I was told to go through the process again. My flight was supposed to LEAVE in nine minutes. C’mon people! NINE MINUTES! Everyone seemed to be moving in super slow-mo. I tried to appear calm and collected, but I might’ve ACCIDENTALLY rolled my eyes. MAYBE I mumbled something in appropriate about Delta’s service. I don’t know.
Next thing I know, I am escorted to the “Secure Area” by Mr. T. I was frisked and glared at. My identification was studied with a fine tooth comb. I tried to patch things up by smiling at the security guy with my most innocent grin (cheese!), but by that point it was too late. I was now a suspect and I think the whole airport went on Red Alert.
My best, innocent grin. Nothing guilty about this face.
I can’t imagine what all the fuss was about, but I was really getting irritated. After what seemed like a few national security conferences and phone calls to The White House, they decided I was allowed to go on my merry way. I’m grateful for the stepped up security in airports. I really am. Don’t get me wrong. But I had a plane to catch.
Me, caught on hidden security cameras just before entering the airport.
I noticed the boarding area was (good grief!) 30 gates away, so we started running again. Running and running and running. Had I only been wearing my favorite “sensible shoes” I could’ve gone faster. WHY, OH WHY! had I chosen fashion over function? My feet looked super chic but the rest of me was looking mighty frazzled by that point.
Note to self: wear running shoes to airports from now on.
We shoved past people and pets and probably scared a lot of small children. Excuse me! Pardon me! Move it BUDDY! Finally arriving at the gate, hearts pounding, only to find it DESERTED! Nooooo, tell us it isn’t so!!!!! No one was in sight. I sadly turned towards the window to leave when I saw it! The plane! It was no longer connected to the gate, but it was still there! The plane, the plane! I could see it!
We ran to the window and I started jumping up and down waving at the little men working below. No one paid attention. We found an employee with a broom and asked her to PAHLEEEZE get us on the plane. We told her my daughter was on board. I didn’t mention that she was with chaperones or that she is sixteen. Pretty soon the lady with the broom was jumping up and down with us in front of the gate window, using a made up sign language to indicate we had a “wee one” on board and needed to be let on the plane.
We went back to jumping up and down and gesturing at the cockpit window of the plane. I can’t imagine the horror or laughter that must’ve been going on in the cockpit as the pilots watched us through the window. The sight of us could’ve alarmed them enough to re-alert security. I wouldn’t have blamed them, our antics bordered on the ridiculous. I’ll admit it. But suddenly we saw the giant gate start to move towards the plane. Fortunately for us, the captain had mercy on us. He had seen our cries and our groveling and took pity on those poor pathetic women in the window. In an exceptional move of kindness, the gate was reconnected to the plane on our behalf and the doors swung open. THANK YOU CAPTAIN!
We were allowed to board. After hugging the crew and shaking hands with Captain Tom (we would’ve used it as a blog photo op, but my camera was in San Francisco with my bags), we made our way to our seats. Most passengers looked at us with squinted eyes (the “evil eye” as I like to call it), but as we neared our seats the choir students broke out into cheers and clapping for our valiant and successful effort. We did it!
It was a proud moment for my daughter (just kidding, I’m sure she was mortified — MOM!! Please. So embarrassing.)
And that was my airport mis-adventure. Have a great weekend, everyone!
O.M.G. Well, at least I know I am not the only one with airplane/port misadventures! Many years ago my hubby and I had a horrible in-air experience … we lost altitude three times (the first time five people were thrown from their seats, overhead bins opened and all kinds of nasties flew out and if that wasn’t enough, we then ROLLED!) Needless to say, several years went by that I would not fly. My husband loves to travel so he talked to my doc and the two of them decided I should be medicated. Once I was introduced to Valium, I was able to fly to California once, to New Mexico twice, and to Florida a couple of times – each time getting a three-pill renewal from my local pharmacy. Then we moved! New state, new city, new doctor, new pharmacy — and new Valium drug company. Time to go to California for my daughter’s retirement from the United States Navy. Never noticed that the pills looked different until sitting in the boarding area but looked at the label and it said the same thing so I popped my pill in my mouth and within minutes – NO LIE – I was woozy and could not keep my eyes open. When it was time for us to board, I could barely walk and was dang near incoherent. Finally made it to my seat and instantly was in la-la-land until we were back on land. As with each trip, I am constantly thankful we made it there but am also constantly reminded that we yet have to go home and it somewhat puts a slight damper on the vacation. Well, we got through the ceremony and the party and the party-ing and all the sightseeing, etc., and it’s now time to go back home (yeah, all good things do have to end, don’t they?) Must insert here that my husband kept telling me all week “when we go home, you better only take a half a pill … blah blah blah” … but I LIKE IT WHEN I’M OUT OF IT! But, as a dutiful wife, took only a half a pill. Honest! He even WATCHED ME. But, I gotta tell you, it was like I took a pill and a half! I made sure I had food in my tummy and even waited a little closer to boarding time before taking the pill but it didn’t matter one iota! I was G.O.N.E. My poor husband guided me down the aisle of the plane – yeah yeah yeah, we were in the second last seat of the plane! He was carrying both of our carry-ons and my purse in his left hand and was dragging me along with his right hand. He told me later that my eyes were closed and I was bumping my way to the back of the plane – first from one seat to another. Don’tcha just LOVE when inconsiderate people do that? NOT. Well, we almost made it to our seats — that is until I plowed into the flight attendant that was standing in the little “kitchen area” and nearly knocked her down. Hubby just kept dragging me along. Finally, our row and our seats. Well, maybe I should say “our seat” … because, as luck would have it, there was a woman sitting in MY SEAT. My husband told her she was in my seat – even showed her the ticket and she was quite rude and said something like “but I need to sit next to my daughter” … must insert here that her daughter was a perfectly normal 14-year old and not a four-year old. Mom’s seat was actually just in the row in front of us and she tried to get us to split up. Yeah, like THAT was going to happen! Finally, the attendant that I nearly knocked to the ground finally composed herself and came to our rescue and made the woman move up a row. By now, everybody has boarded but we didn’t start taxing. By the way, all of this is hearsay because I am in my drug-induced “state” … Hubby said he knew something was wrong when he looked up and saw a very “official-looking-mean-woman” walking down the aisle. Yep – she was the Customer Relations person from “X” Airlines. (I will not list the airlines here for obvious reasons.) She asked that hubby come with her. So, the two of them deplaned – only to meet the pilot with his Rule Book. My husband, right up front, agreed with them and told them I was in no condition to fly and was not going to argue with them – said something like “lets just do this quickly so not to hold up the rest of the plane” (yeah, he’s THE BEST!) Soooooooo – the official-looking-mean-woman Customer Relations person and hubby get back on the plane and head to the back where he gathers the two carry ons and my purse and the official-looking-mean-woman Customer Relations person gathers ME … the drug-induced me. She had my by both hands and was walking backwards while guiding me and trying to keep me from banging into everybody lucky enough to be in an aisle seat. The second we were off the plane, she plopped me into a wheelchair and pushed me back into the terminal. We were told we couldn’t fly until the next day. When I heard this, I woke up and started to cry and said “noooooooooooooooooooooo – I wanna go home today” and as luck would have it, there was another direct flight from San Diego to Dallas in two hours. They gave my hubby food vouchers, told him to leave the gate area, fill her up with food and see if he could get me to walk it off. Well, we did our best and passed “inspection” and made it home safely. My big concern was that the half of a pill would wear off mid-flight and I was not loving that thought. Don’t know what was in that pill but I gotta tell you, it was mid-day the next day (over 24 hours after taking it!) that I was clear headed. I got an email the next day from “X” Airlines and, in part, reads “Please accept my apology for any inconvenience that resulted from our decision not to accommodate you on flight xxxx from San Diego to Dallas/Fort Worth on November x. Although you may have disagreed with our decision, I hope you will understand that we acted with our customers’ best interests in mind. If, in our best judgment, we believe a customer’s medical condition would endanger flight safety or require extraordinary medical attention during the course of the flight, we have the authority and responsibility to deny that customer passage. When
you boarded the aircraft, our personnel were seriously concerned about your ability to complete the flight safely. Our concern for your safety left us no choice but to decline to accommodate you. Our procedures have been designed to be in full compliance with Department of Transportation (DOT) regulations regarding the accommodation of customers with
disabilities; however, any customer may pursue DOT enforcement action if they believe a violation of the regulations has occurred. There was no violation of the mentioned regulations since our decision was based on safety.
Mrs. X, please give us the opportunity to restore your confidence in our ability to meet your travel needs. We want your business and we will work hard to earn it.” I spoke to the pharmacist and he ASSURED me that the pills were the exact same pills that I got from the other pharmacy in Ohio – just a different manufacturer. He said FDA regulations require all manufacturers to carry the same pill. There were no differences – everything stayed the same (except about five years in my age) but for some reason, the pills just made me react differently. Since that experience, I had to fly (ALONE – nobody to guide me down the aisles!) to Florida when my mother was dying – and then to Pennsylvania (with my ‘guide’) for her funeral. Each flight I took a half a pill and was not as bad. Soooooooooooooo, to any and all of my fellow flight passengers, I am sincerely apologetic for any inconveniences I may have caused you. Truly, I was not intoxicated thought I sure looked and acted like it nor am I a drug addict…just afraid of flying, with good reason!
Oh my goodness, Melissa! Quite the {mis}adventure, but so amazing that you made the flight! Loved reading about the incident, along with hilarious photos, and your story-telling abilities are really quite something
melissa! what a true adventure, and yes, (mis) at that! i am just thankful that you made it thru…what an ordeal. i have always wanted to shop in FAO Schwartz…so your photos really tickled me!
i am hoping you are having a wonderful weekend!!! you are in my thoughts this week!
hugs
shelbi
Hi Melissa! Oh gosh how we have missed you and your Blog, it is like coming over to a friends home for a visit on that beautiful veranda and having a long chat! It seems we have been away for years!! Have enjoyed reading all your lovely posts, as always you continue inspire us with your special style
Winston is adorable, love that Westie face 
Your airport drama was quite the mis-adventure!! We can imagine not funny for you at the time!! But in retrospect hope you can laugh 
And we LOVE FAO Schwartz too!! We miss visiting regularly but know we are thinking about you and will fly by again when we can 
Take care and have a gorgeous Sunday M! Huge cuddle for Winston for us!! Jenn and Jacqui xo
You turned off comments, on your next entry. -heh- Now you don’t think you can stop an ol’ gal like me from commenting on it, do you? >,-)
I wanted to say that YOU, I’d ask to help me with decorating. You and Candice Olson {‘Divine Design’ on tv} and that’s all. I have this “thing” about not wanting someone to come in and advise me. Although I know perfectly well that I could use it! My husband wants to. But I always balk.
But you and Candice ~ you two could come in and advise away and I’d not have a “thing” about it.
)))
Mari-Nanci
This was a fun tour. I tried to leave a comment on your next post to say that I enjoyed your inteview but it said “comments off”
OMG! This made me stress out and laugh at the sametime! What an experience! Glad you are home safely! Love, Esther
Well no doubt this story was enjoyed in the telling much more than in the living! Great images to illustrate your misadventures – thankfully with a happy ending. In May I am about to spend way too much time on planes and at airports, so am allowing plenty of wriggle room to accommodate the inevitable delays, mishaps, etc. Thanks for sharing your story!
So funny!!! the best pictures ever. this has to be one of your most entertaining posts!!! Loved it but I’m glad you made it home safe and sound.
Joni
How funny! (now that you can look back on it!) Loved the shot of you and your mom!
omg, i laughed out loud with this post — you are so funny. this was a great story. i totally know that feeling where people seem to be going in slow-mo. xoxo
Melissa, what a fantastic, brave story. If you weren’t before, you are now officially MY HERO. I also love your photos! I can’t stand airports. It’s like the second you’re in a hurry, a big neon sign with the word CONVICT appears above your head and everyone treats you badly…but that captain! I can’t believe he came BACK! Wow! God was indeed with you that day and clearly having a darned good chuckle at the whole debacle!
Glad you made it! And what a great tale! xo Terri
P.S. The photos of you and your Mom are divine. You are a couple of HOT gals. Now I know why the captain came back…those legs, those outfits.
Dear little Winston…I want to smoosh him.
I just told my Hubby last night that we HAVE to go to New York. I feel as if I’ve been there now. What a lovely fun tour. Now I know FOR SURE….we MUST make plans and visit there soon…!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE you blog. It’s so beautifu and inspiring. Great Job….!!!!
Dianne
http://www.desperatediva.typepad.com