Rate My Space Wisdom

I was thinking some more about Rate My Space (I know, I should get a life!) and after Penny‘s comment, I have some more thoughts to share! Imagine that, more thoughts from me! Penny shared yesterday that she had in fact put her rooms on Rate My Space, but had unique reasoning for it. She did it as a way to draw more traffic to her business website, and that is definitely an idea worth considering. I think sometimes in life you have to be willing to put yourself out there in order to achieve something important to you. Free advertising is nothing to pooh-pooh! She is one smart and creative lady, I’ll tell you!

As most of you shared, I think there is a certain vulnerability with sharing yourself or home in a way that invites comments or criticism. I usually tell people to NOT ask their friends what they think of their decor, because the answer isn’t one you can really draw any conclusions from. They may have different taste, little understanding of design, misunderstand your lifestyle, or not be aware of limitations or architectural problems you had to deal with. Or, they may say it is fabulous even if they hate it because they are wanting to encourage you or flatter you for some reason. Or they are just being nice and really have no opinion. Lots of things can make people give advice that really isn’t applicable or helpful.

Blogs are great because usually people are positive and genuine, but I still caution you with placing too much stock in what other people think of your photos, how many positive comments you got on your post, or whatever. More comments does not mean someone is better or more interesting, you just can’t judge blogs or people that way. Less comments doesn’t mean you were boring. Just be you, enjoy your life and sharing it with others. Comments or no comments, raves or not, you do your best with what you’ve got and that is what matters. It is not a popularity contest, although you may have your 15 minutes!

Of course we want other people to love our homes and what we’ve done with them as much as we do. We put our hearts into them and want to share a bit of our world. Yet, because of our fears we sometimes want to protect ourselves from criticism or judgment so we don’t share, or we don’t ask for help when we might need it.

Rate My Space Wisdom

I am certainly not opposed to asking for decorating advice, being that I am a decorating consultant! Good thing! I think if you are not comfortable in your home, if something doesn’t feel right or isn’t coming together, or you want to achieve something that is outside of your ability time-wise, financially or creativity-wise, you should not be afraid to ask someone you trust to give you an honest suggestion. And your blogging friends can certainly give you worthwhile suggestions or stretch you in new ways!

With professionals especially you should feel confident that they are there to help you create the best possible room for you, within your style and budget. What I personally think about your style isn’t as relevant to me as what matters to you!

I think asking for assistance is in no way a reflection on your own ability. I have people who are immensely creative and have lovely things that still call me for advice. We can’t or shouldn’t always feel we have to do everything ourselves. Even if we are talented or creative. Other people can bring new perspective and “I never thought of that” moments to your life! Just consider the source and your circumstances before you make significant changes that you might regret.

So, Rate My Space or blog a 10 or not, I think the underlying point here is create the kind of life you want to live and live it boldly with joy and confidence! Ask for help when you need it and share your life experience with others. You may inspire people who never even leave a comment, or by the thoughtful words you take time to express, so keep up the good work blogging friends!

photo: Martha Stewart online


  1. Pat

    Hello Melissa!

    I’m usually pretty confident in my style. Yesterday, I asked advice at my decorating board. They came through with flying colors and made me see that an idea had merit. And they encouraged me to use a piece of furniture I was uncertain about keeping. After “seeing” it with their eyes I was able to come to a decision.

    I’m with you, as far as comments. I see absolutely wonderful blogs with few comments. I read blogs for the sheer pleasure of reading about different folks and places and I write for the simple joy of writing. I use my camera for the joy of taking photos. My blog has helped me through some interesting times, this year. I guess I write it for myself, but I love sharing it with those who pass by. Perhaps, I will inspire someone, along the way.

    Thanks again! And thank you for your sweet comment on Noah’s Party.


  2. Christine

    I just love what you had to say!! I’m trying to
    get my self out there in the ’boutique’ world and I
    love all the wisdom I can get from my blogger friends!
    Thank you so much for stopping by my little blog..It
    was nice having you.

  3. Counting Your Blessings

    Penny is indeed a smart business lady. And sweet too. It was actually from her blog that I found my way to Rate My Space. I’m all for the free advertising and I’m even more for advertising for a friend. Thanks for this post. I don’t feel quite so ridiculous now for impetuously putting my photos up there =) Blessings… Polly

  4. Lisa

    This is a really thoughtful post. I think the whole comment issue goes to wanting to be validated for the effort, creativity or whatever work you put into your blog. I do agree that we shouldn’t put too much emphasis on sheer number of posts though. I blog hop all the time and leave a comment when I can out of courtesy, appreciation to the blogger for sharing and I suppose as a way of encouraging the author too. It’s nice to read that your efforts are appreciated. It certainly does take courage to put yourself and your talents out there for the public to browse and judge. IMHO

  5. Lisa

    ooops I meant to say we shouldn’t put so much emphasis on sheer number of “comments”. Hmmmm so much for my wonderful proof reading.

    Have a nice day!

  6. Barbara

    Lots of wisdom here. I really did find this photo rather difficult to look at and really could not study it. I do not like spiders and this many was just more than I could absorb. I am not complaining just letting you know it was not a picture for me although I appreciate the art in it.
    I am glad you like my story. There is so much more yet but I hope to get it finished this winter.
    Thanks for visiting and for your comments.

  7. Julie

    Melissa you darling – you are so true. I admire people who can expose their soul by putting themselves out there. Be that by pictures on Rate my Space or showcasing their art on their blog or working different shows. Criticism is a sharp knife but if you’re lucky enough the cut will be swift and heal quickly. I guess it all boils down to the old maxim – Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. But the point I want to stress is that even if the rest of society feels that you have failed, if you’re happy with the results – then who cares??


  8. Cre8Tiva

    this is such wonderful wisdom…create the space you want boldly…that fits what i am doing in my life right now…i am going to quote you often my friend…blessings, rebecca

  9. Esther Sunday

    Well said! As always! Thanks for giving us things to ponder.

  10. the feathered nest

    Melissa, I’m late getting around to everyone this week. Too much to do! I don’t understand the whole RMS thing really. I don’t want people “rating” my space – it’s “my” space after all! I do think it might be a good outlet if design/decorating is your business. I think that HGTV probably looks at the highly rated homes for some of their shows and shelter magazines might do that too.

    Blogs are nice because people generally have something pleasant to say and you usually see the same people and develop a relationship with them. You get constructive criticism not snarky remarks. When I first posted pictures of my kitchen it had gray walls and Rhoda very sweetly encouraged me to re-think that color and I’m glad she did cause I love that green that’s in there now!

    Anyway, love what you said about “creating the kind of life you want to live…” – I’m trying!


  11. Melissa

    It really is remarkable the opportunity we have in blogging to be a source of encouragement to others. When we find ways to support each other, either through sincere compliments, sharing their blog with someone else, quoting people who inspire us, or advertising for each other we can make such a difference in someone’s life or day. That is what I love about blogging, so much potential for good for those who use it to bless others! It is a good thing. Unlike those spiders. Sorry if they were too creepy and not beautiful enough! :-)

  12. Rhonda

    Hi Melissa! I have to admit that I have never even visited Rate My Space. I enjoy finding inspiration from fellow bloggers, but I want my home to reflect me and my family…who we are and what we like. If I do that, then I am satisfied.

    Thanks for stopping by to rejoice with me. We are so blessed!


  13. Penny, Mosaic Artist

    Melissa, You hit the nail on the head! Create the kind of life you want to live. Perfect.

  14. Robin

    Hi Melissa, Loved the post! Great message for sure….my house is an expression of ME (and a few other s that live here too LOL)
    Just popping in to say Hello and catch up on my reading!
    HOW are the spiders stuck onto the door? That is cool………..

  15. Heather

    What a great post. Hmmm, well, you really have me thinking.

    I always have an opinion, so I guess I would not be up for something like “rate my space”. On the other hand, I am very curious (nosey), so I do like to see what other people have done.

    Guess I had better think about it some more.

  16. Michelle

    I agree – I love my space, no matter what. It is always a work in progress and that makes me happy :)Thanks for visiting my blog.

    Have a wonderful day, Michelle

  17. Michelle

    I love what you had to say about this! Thank you! I am putting up photos of my home on my blog and asking for suggestions, as well as using it as an idea place to voice my own thoughts about what I’d like to do. I would prefer help in that way, rather than a rate my space type of scenario. Thanks as always for the post!

  18. Lisa

    I really enjoyed reading your post, Melissa. If I haven’t already in the past, I want to thank you for the kind comments you have left me on my blog in the past. I am a certified comment watcher and love to see lots of comments on my posts. I do tend to judge my blogs interestingness (I’m sure that isn’t even a word) by how many comments I receive and I know that isn’t right. I didn’t start blogging for the comments, that was just a fringe benefit. I did it to share with like minded people. I never imagined that I would meet so many wonderful people from around the world and in my own state that appreciate what I do. I’m rabbling, I know. If you ever want to meet for coffee(or tea) over at Monticello sometime, let me know.

    Have a great weekend!


  19. kim in Camas - ScrapToMyLu

    I totally agree with you, but the first thing I thought was that I’m not decorating for my friends. But I suppose some people decorate to impress. Sure I want people to like what I decide to do with my treasures, but in the end, it’s really the way my home makes me feel. I don’t want a canned typical look, which sometimes may make something I do questionable.

    I love those spiders on the door……I wonder how they got those to stick. I must do that.

  20. Becky

    Hi there my friend! I agree with you and Penny and that is to create a place that you want to be in.

    I have a decorating ? for you…We are looking for hardwood floors or laminate. Something that would stand little Doogie nails. Do you recommend one brand over the other?

    Have a wonderful weekend! Becky

  21. ellie

    I don’t know if I would mind putting my stuff up on RMS…even if people are harsh with their words. I know what I like and that’s all that matters. I guess you have to take their comments with a grain of salt, some of it maybe good constructive critisism and will actually be good to look at throught somebody’s else’s eye. I think sometime just putting up your pictures up on your blog helps see it clearer too.

    I love that spooky door you have up on your blog…what a cute idea to dress up your door like that for a halloween party…


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