The other day on my cleaning post a reader shared her frustration over her husband and family members not pitching in to keep the house clean! I know how hard that can be, and in fact, it’s one of the most common questions I receive! In my book “Make Room for What You Love” (and in Love the Home You Have) I addressed similar situations this way:
You deserve to have a home that inspires you. Everyone else who shares your home might not have the same vision, needs or concerns you do. As frustrating as it is, it can be nearly impossible to get some people on board with a vision for a clean and tidy home! You might inspire them in time, but it doesn’t always work.
I would start with the areas of your home that you can keep clean or tidy or reset every day. Focus on cleaning an area that makes YOU happy.
Do you like to see a shiny sink without dishes in it? While you might not get others to share your vision or to do their fair share of the work, keep the sink clear as a gift to yourself.
Perhaps in time your consistency in cleaning will inspire your husband or family. Start in one area and keep it tidy every single day, eventually they might catch on! If you can be honest and explain how much it means to you to keep this one area clean, it’s possible he’ll begin to understand and pitch in with you to keep that spot clean (then you can move on to add another area!). But even if it doesn’t work, my feeling is it is worth it to do it for YOURSELF! It may not be “fair” that others are making a mess or not joining in to clean up, but it’s important that you find joy in your home. Give that gift to yourself!
PS. I think kids should be taught how to pitch in, but that’s another post :).
How do you share household responsibilities with your family?
More Posts on The Inspired Room:
How to Clean Your House When You’re Too Busy
My 4 Daily Routines: How I Keep My House “Clean Enough”
Six Simple Secrets for a Less Cluttered Home
I love how you addressed this issue! A home may be shelter for some, and a sanctuary for others. Some of us love our homes in a way that goes above and beyond. That is our gift to the world. It is not fun to pick up after everybody else, but the reward at the end is a clean and cozy home. theperfectionistathome.com
I have learned this too. You can’t change people so do what you need to make yourself happy.
My husband and I have agreed upon a once per week tidy and clean that we consider our minimum. We’ve split the tasks in it to suit each of our interests and needs. It’s part of our weekly planning. We both work with a 1+ hour commute each way. No kids, well two furkids :-) . This way has worked out well for the two of us.
We split up dinner prep and clean up, but will pitch in for each other if tired or feeling under the weather!